Being Iraqi...25 tell tale signs..

Ok a short note people..I AM Iraqi ok? I may have been born in Kuwait and raised in canada but trust me that does not make me any less Iraqi..The fact that I have never been to Iraq does not also make me less Iraqi..

The thing about being Iraqi..Iraq can DISOWN you..But you can never disown it..No matter where you live where you were born and how long you've been there..YOUR STILL IRAQI..ok? For all those Iraqi's out there that are denying thier roots..DONT MAKE ME DRAW YOU A MAP DARLIN..;)

With that said..PLease do enjoy:D

Being Iraqi----

1) When surrounded by other Arab nationalities and you speak Iraqi, no one knows what the hell youre saying.<-----So true..I dont even know what the hell thier saying..

2) When talking to Egyptians, your Iraqi accent turns Egyptian. When talking to Lebanese, your accent turns Lebanese...etc. <--agian..Right on the dot..My baby sister who was born in Canada and is now in Kuwait speaks every single dialect under the sun..Pity I dont have that talent..

3)When Iraqi women get together, they all compete in 'Who's got the loudest voice?' <--ALL women are the like that..Ethnic background doesnt matter...Trust me I know..

4)Every Iraqi family is dysfunctional in one way or another. <--Yup

5)Iraqis have an exclusive swearing vocabulary ranging from 'Incheb-ee', 'Islayma', 'sarsaree', 'thowla', 'booma', 'ghabra', 'khaburni','6a7 subghek' etc. <-----I LOVE iraqi swearing..Its soo soo I dunno!! lol..They say it with such affection too lol..

6)Everyone has at least one Ali in their immediate family. <--Mine has 8 in the Immediate family..And 6 Hussiens...And 4 Hasans...

7)If lunch doesn't include rice, it's not considered a meal. <--I know for that fact the same goes with Kuwaitis..

8)Every Iraqi knows every family in the entire nation of Iraq, and somehow you always know a specific story about them. <--You can run..But you Cant HIDE!!!!!

9)When Iraqis dance to 3adel 3ogla or Hatem al 3raqi, Everyone returns to their Im3aydee roots, Everyone goes wild , and all the other non-Iraqis get scared. <---Intersting..Cant wait for my Cousins wedding..I'll get ya guys pics ;)

10)Saying the word 'Baghdad' makes Iraqis cry hysterically. <---In my family..My grandma in particular..Its Karbala..

11)During a wedding, all the young single people are checking eachother out. <---In the only Kuwaiti wedding I was too..The GIRLS were checking out the girls..So yea :P

12)You've been beaten to death by a Na3al at least once in your life. <--I feel cheated..Both my brothers have experianced this.. The type of na3al is crucial here..

13)Sarcasm is part of Iraqi DNA, You never know whether the joke is a joke or not! <--Guilty!!

14)Everyone owns a leather Jacket, Big Shoulder pads a thick belt and thermal underwear for the winter and summer, if you own these then you are so keshkha around iraqis (in other words, u look buff)! <---Now I know what to get for my family back home..

15)You have Guests over for breakfast, lunch, dinner and after midnight. <--Till the wee hours of the morning baby!!!

16)To be Iraqi you must drink chai (tea) five times a day <--Can we change that to coffee and 7 times a day? That would be more accruate in my case:P

17)Everything is 3eib ..'3eib baba 3eib mayseer hichi' and i mean everything and theres no point wondering why because the answer will always be, 'because its 3eib! <---If nothing this is concret proof my dad is Iraqi..

18)Infront of their husbands, iraqi wifes always have a kafshe...(its attractive among iraqis) and when they're really in a romantic mood they'll put on bright RED lipstick and a red dishdasha to go with it , not forgetting that their hair is always abnormally blonde <--My mom doesnt even own a single red lipstick..I should talk to her about this fashion statement...

19)And every iraqi mum and dad were the cleverest in their generation, they all got 110 out of 100, and always came first out of their class. <--Funny..My dad is a self proclaimed drop out/smuggler/gangster/teacher beater and jail hopper..He seems proud of himself..Must be the Kuwait air..

20)Being the eldest child in the family means that you'll always be called a be3eera (camel) even if u reach ur fifties <---OMG OMG..This is soooo true..To this day this what my father calls me..Charming isnt it?

21)And not forgetting that if you make a mistake, it will NEVER be forgotten , it'll be passed on through the generations, written in the books of history and they will remind you of it on your wedding day infront your wife , and when they'll be walking behind your coffin in your funeral. <---Its written on stone..With Diamonds..

22)There is no such thing are romance for Iraqi guy..And when he does try to romantic, the girls perfer them their regular brute ways..<---So not true..Every Iraqi I know(inculding family) are Casanovas/Romeos..

23)Bagila (Fava beans) is the national food.. <--True true

24)Eating Bacha is a national duty <--uhuh

25)Particapating in Muharam weither you are shia or not is a way of life <--lmao agian true..

In The Name Of THE lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Salam allykuim everyone,

A dear friend of mine has lost someone so precious in his life..The giver of his life, the nurturer of his youth,the love of his soul,the air of his lungs, the light of his eyes..Someone that cannot be replaced nor forgotten..The person responsible for his great character..The person that lives everyday for him..Someone that allah (swt) has decided to return to his embrace..

Everyone Please Recite Suraat Al Fatha On The Soul Of Om Hassan Bint Hawa And On The Souls Of All The Moomaneen wa Mooomeenat..

Bismalla Al Ra7man Al Ra7eem

Al7amdulla Rabi Al 3almeen
AlRahman AlReheem
Maliki Youmil deen
Eeyaka Na3boudo Wa Eeeyaka Nesta3een
Ihdeena Al Serata AlMustaqeem
Serata Al Lathi An 3amata 3aleehum
Gheera al Moghthoobi 3aleehum
Wala 5aleen

Sadaq Allah Al 3ali Al Atheem

Ini lilulah Wa Ina 3aleehi Raja3oon.. All Yamid Roo7a Ill Jana Inshalla..

Tear Ducts...

Some friends of mine have been asking me as of late about how often i cry..As of May 19 2005 I have drained all my tear ducts dry..Nothing left.. Why you ask? This is what happened a year and two weeks ago...


Kuwait Airport May 19 2005 12 am

"Yalla baba give this to the guy in that ugly beige unifrom and get yourself checked in your plane is in less then an hour", My father orders grumpily handing me my passport while adjusting my baby sister on his chest.

I stare at the guy in the ugly beige miltary unifrom who starts to grin at me sheepishly as if knowing he looked goofy in his uniform...

Putting her hand on my shoulder, my mother startles me out of my trance. I was pouting dissatisfied and upset. I do a 180 degree turn and start walking away from the gate and past my brother who was lounging lazily on the hard plastic blue chairs and bluetoothing someone..

"Mariam where are you going?"My dad says to my retreating back clearly upset.

"Im not going"I repily over my shoulder

"What? What do you mean your not going?"He fairly shouts causing the 15 other soon to be passengers of Olympic Airways to openly stare at us..

I turn around and march right up to him dragging my handbag with me, "Im not going to Canada..You cant make me!!"

He stares at me baffled shifts my sister to his other shoulder,"You dont want to go? You dont want to go to University back home?"

I glare at him and toss my head,"No I dont want to go and I dont give a damn about University..I'll study anything here..Media or something"I say trying to sound brave.

My mom makes her appearance out of nowhere from behind me..I could have sworn she was behind my dad..And she smacks the back of my head...MY MOTHER WHO NEVER HITS ME.. SMACKED ME ACCROSS THE HEAD IN PUBLIC IN FRONT OF 16 OTHER WITNESSES..

Before I could recover my shock she turns me around puts her palm on my cheek and says in a very menacing voice "Your going to Canada..Your going to go and study..You will make me proud ..Understood?"

I stare at her both her hurt and shocked..My father and brother are speechless..My mother never ever makes public displays and never ever says anything whispering like she was now..
She puts her hands on my shoulders and shakes me so hard My shala slides down an inch..
"Do you understand me young lady?"She repeats louder now..

**PLease keep in mind the threats were issued in BOTH english and arabic..Just in case those around us cannot understand one they would have the other**

I look down at my gold sandals and say barely whispering "I dont want to go though.." She lifts my chin slightly so we are eye level and pulls me down to her height..

"I dont want to repeat myself Mariam..You go on your own two feet or am I going to have to call security and they will drag you in kicking and screaming"She says now calmer.

I strighten up to my height look down at her I turn to my dad and I say shouting my voice breaking "I DONT WANT TO GO..YOU CANT MAKE ME GO!!!" I drop the handbag and try to walk past my mom.

She grabs my arm and practically drags me while she walks towards the gate, leaving my dad and my brother in her wake.

**For a small lady who is like 3/4 of my height and 1/4 of my weight she was strong!**

"I hate yoooooooooooooou"I say now openly crying..

**I never cry and I NEVER EVER cry in public..**

"Inchabi zan 3a6atich weeh ana" she says handing the startled gaurd my passport and shoving me infront of him..The tears where coming down like waterfalls now..Silent but heavey..

"I dont want to go..I don't want to goo..Please Please Please dont make me go"I say patheticly choking on my sobs..

My mom turns me away from the poor guard to face her..Her face was now in its regular expression..Affection with a touch of mischevious humour..Now it also had some compassion but only a bit.. She grabs me and hugs me close to her where she whispered in my ear,"Your going to be just fine, and your going to have the best time of your life" She strightens away kissing both my cheeks and passes me like a treat to over to my dad..Who tapped my head like a dog and gave me an air kiss..My bro came up at that moment slapping me hard across my back "Bye bye Mariiamoooo"

My dad now shoves me towards the gate and handing my handbag to the poor gaurd..I was walking in blurry daze..When I heard out of no where "Mariam..Nooooooooooooooooooo"My baby sister woke up...

I could not handle it anymore..I broke out niagra falls right there and then...

**I dont cry like this..Never..Ok mabye only in Ashura but not like this!!I was crying really crying..Not those pretty snuffles with one or two tears..Nope I had the coughing chocking runny nose and the snorting...**

After my dad brought over my sister to kiss I was doubting my ablity to see.. Walking past the gate now I look back at my family..My mother and father and brother(heartless wala) were waving at me merrily not even acknowleding my tears..The only one who had the heart was my baby sis..She was letting her tears loose too..I choked back another sob and somehow made it to the waiting area..

I was already late so I was hurried into the airplane and ushered into the window seat with a british couple..Let me tell you people..From Kuwait to Athens its 7 and a half hours..I was crying the whole way..I was crying so loud and distrubingly that this adorable newlywed kuwaiti couple who were up in first class(I was in bussiness) came by to my seat wondering if they could do anything for me to calm me down...I told them I want my mom..

I landed in Athens with red eyes puffy cheeks and swallon lips. I was a bit calmer but as soon as I boarded air canada I saw this teenager and her mother laughing heads together at a magizine..I let it go..Agian.. And so I stayed like that till I reached Montreal..Athens to Montreal 14 hours...Yup havent slept yet havent eaten havent spoken a word other then I want my mommy and havent stopped crying for more then a half an hour...

Reaching Montreal airport and going through customs hearing canadiene english and french calmed me down somewhat..I made it thru baggage and through customs with only quiet tears.. I see my uncle and my other brother waiting for me at arrivals..I see my uncles resemblance to my mom when he smiles and the way my brother holds himself also just like my mom..I let it go..agian...So yea Montreal to Ottawa..Huge sobs..Montreal to Ottawa 2 hours and 45 minutes..

After thinking Im going to cry myself to death..I make it to my grandmas house..She lets out a small sob seeing me after two years..I let it out..Agian... For me and my grandma to calm down..approx. 4 hours

This was May 19 2006 8 pm Canadian Time..

Ikseer Kha6eer roo7i walaa..lol...

A BuCKet Full oF RanDom StuFF

Since I have neither the time or the substance to write a full coherent blog..I have decided to copy a few other bloggers(yes yes Im shameless) and dedicate a blog to nothingness..Genuis eh?

Sooooo lets start this shall we?

--This summer instead of going to germany,Iran,Iraq and Kuwait I have decided to play the martyr and take summer courses..Yes ladies and gentalmen I have taken courses instead of going having fun and stuffing my face I have dedicated my time to Stats,Algebra,Calculus and Accounting..Say it with me people.."Lilacs You Suck and You Have No Life"

--This week has been nothing but non stop drama drama drama...

--Still havent found a dress for my cousins dumb wedding..Funny thing is my other drop dead gorgous cousin who is already enjoying martal bliss is trying to convince me to wear the same dress as she is..So we can be like you know bridesmaids..My reply? YEA RIGHT..ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean its bad enough going to the wedding with her present..People love to compare relatives physical features..But wearing the same dress???Nah uhuh..Nooo Non .laaaaaa2222aaaaaaaaaa la yohooshak..

--Canadian weather is mashalla messed up..You have unbearable heat for like two hours then a thunder storm for three..

--I have midterms starting next week so keep expecting blogs in this style (if you dont like it, go talk with customer service..Namely Faithoo or the Frenchie..) or picture blogs.

--Seeing that I got alot of negative feedback from the pic blog(new comers kindly scrol down and enjoy) I have decided to post MORE pics of Carleton U's less advertised side..I mean people I luv the place..When I post pics showing it in its less then steller light I dont mean to imply its a ugly university(it is though you gotta admit) So lay off ok? ITS ARTIST EXPRESSION :)

--So yea....Im gonna be posting more embrassing pics of carleton..And when people begin to notice and appericate my genius I may give you guys a glimpse of the pretty story book carleton..Kies?

--Im missing garments people..I have suspicion that my bro might be a cross dresser..I mean who can explain the kidnapping of my favorite walking shows and four of my lovliest shawls??hm?? The boy I saw with him last week was blonde..Im telling you as soon as you make friends with the blondes..Khaalaas your a goner..

--Im gonna go pretend to do something useful...Like actually open my algebra book..(shocking I know :p)

Tell next time..Laaaaaaaaaaterzzzzzzz

Worth a Thousand Words..

The following are random pictures taken in the company of Bint and I decided to share it with you guys..These pictures give you a glimpse of a place which I call my first home..Calreton University...

THE STAIRS... We are surrounded by stairs and walkways and tunnels in our Uni..It is a shock to me that I havent lost weight..I mean all we do is walk..Or in my case run from one class to another...
**sighs**The art..Its too much for me to handle..This is our unicentre..According to current rumours they are building a galleria with ceiling to floor windows..I think they are building an insane asylum..We sorely need it..

This here ladies and lovely gentalmen is my second home..If ever I am needed and unattainable by phone..Please stop by the math and stats tutorial room and I will most likely be there torturing some poor forsaken TA... The winding neverending tunnels towards nothingness..This is what we see as we hurry oh so enthusasticly to our classes..They made it supposedly to shelter us from the elements of canada's winter..However I have another theory..They were built so when aliens come to earth in the very near future we are all trapped under ground, for easy access..So they can suck out our brillant minds and unravel the human mysteries..

Ahhh the torture chamber..When Carleton University was established in 1942 the Board of Directors needed a place to put all those students who havent paid thier tuition fees..Voila..Thus the creation a toture chamber that has now been converted to a stairwell..Imagine going up for flights of stairs like the above..Imagine you are going in rush hour traffic..You are slammed against the wall and your lovely outfit is ruined and your arm is scratched..

Tulips..Ottawa is sprinkled with plenty of them this time of year..The story goes that we gave shelter to a Netherland Princess during world war2 and so as gesture of thanks to our charming hospitality the Holland goverment has sent Tulip bulb to the canadian captial each year..I think that was the story..Go google it or something :P

This is the view I see from my stat's prof's office..Yes I am there very often...and no it hans't improved my marks :P

Seein Red..

So after a few days of recuperating(hence the delay of a new post) and trying to get back to study mode, I am ready to rant and rave about an issue..

MARRIAGE...

You see in my family we are currently having a family wide sale..my cousins are on sale..up too 70% off..Final sale of coures, so no returns or exchanges..unfortunaltly we do not provide fitting rooms for fittings..Therefore pick one and try your luck..You always have up to 4 store credits..

Yea..My BABY cousin..Got engaged..Milchat..Got hitched..Was seen half dressed infront of a complete and utter stranger..She is now going out with this guy..

This is not the only problem..I was recruited into decorating the house for her party..People..I dont beleive in the institution..You want me to advertise it with my designs??What the Fuc*?
But I had no say in the matter..I was carted from one store to another, form one mall to another and was abused in the most unhumane way possible..I had to decorate and give opinons about hair, make up, dress..UGh...

I got to deal with the caters..Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun..Miskeen the cake and baklava people..I gave them a good piece of my mind..It was one of those "days" where the sky was a dark shade of black and the air smelled of skunk and the air was thick and suffocating..So Im probably never ever going to be setting foot in that establishment in the future..

The party went off with only a few hitches..You know, pizza got cold or drinks needed more ice..But over all it was an awsome success..Even the bratty kids were well behaved..The decorations kicked ass..The music was awsome the bride was absoultely drop dead gorgous..

The only major problem with my cousins and thier martial bliss..IS that it puts pressure on me...

PEOPLE

I

AM

NOT

MARRIAGE

MATERIAL....

The ladies that graced us with thier pressence made it perfectly clear that i should be married..Sooon..So not only am to wed but I am to be wed with a deadline..What the hell?!?!?My self imposed expiration date is my 25 birthday..Obviously that isnt good enough..My god..Just cause my family memebers like having another half doesnt mean I do..Get the message people..Get on with the fucking program..My god..

"Mashalla your next!"

"That just leaves you cutie"

"Miskeena Mimi bas hia left..Dont worry baby you'll get married soon",

"Do you have any one in mind",

"why dont you come to this wedding this week, Im sure someone is looking for a bride "

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH

Ya saber ayoob....

SALE..20 odd ends...

1.)I hate people loitering around the mall with nothing to do..You know those ones that either have nothing to buy or are broke..Hate'em..Get your things and get out..My god..

2.)I snore..Really really loudly..I compete in the league of drunken sailors..Its an art really..

3.)I hate weddings..I hate dressing up...I hate weddings...

4.)I danced in the rain..Found out that both my foundation and powder were not waterproof..Arden on the other hand makes some kick ass mascara..It didnt even run..It wasnt even waterproof..

5.)I hate sushi..ugh...I hate it I hate it..Disgusting

6.)My only skanky,sexy,girly,heeled,sandal broke today...I wasnt even wearing it..

7.)Faitho has no sense of direction..Being arab its usually a given..But this one is just...Well....Special...How the hell do you get lost WHEN I F***ING TOLD YOU WHAT BUS TO TAKE WHAT DESTINATION AND WHAT DIRECTION AND WHERE YOU CAN FIND IT?!?!?!?!?..She hops on a totally different bus and crosses the border from manitoba to saskatchewan....Genius..And too add to it she doesnt call me and tell me shes lost..I fear for this one...I am afraid people will kill her with the evil eye for her smartness...Miskeen walla...All I can say..Mashalla 3alich

8.)I have grown accustomed to the TRUE iraqi accent...3ani, I wasnt born with it but I have begun to understand it and appericate it....Somewhat...However it is an aquired taste...

9.)I dont like my mom much right now...She is in Syria and she didnt even ask my permission to go..I mean what would it have cost her to invite me??I mean I know I am half a world away..But really does she have the right to waltz off whenever she wants???I refuse to talk to her..Im holding out the grudge for another ten minutes..Which makes a it a record 45 minutes ...

10.)I dont like brothers..Useless beings if you ask me..They eat,get dirty,get smelly,are romantic and dirty..Yucky..

11.)I am a good flirt..I convinced a sales person to hold a dress for me when they have a strict no hold policy for dresses...She was a girl..

12.) In my second session with the theripist ..She tells me Im cured lol...I dont have to see her anymore..More on that when I am feeling lazy...

13.)I havent smoked or did argeela for two weeks now...

14.)I have a foul mouth...Growing up in a house where shut up was frowned upon...I have taken an opposite root and have the skill to make the most ruly of construction workers blush..This attribute is present in both arabic and english..In graphic terms in some cases mind you..My french and somlian need much work..But I am confident of reclaiming my title of profanity queen..

15.)I have decided to move the spanish life forms from being only affair worthy to marriage material.,....Everyone needs to marry a spanish at least once in there lives..

16.)I love the smell of cherry blosoms in the early morning...

17.)I scare small childern..Have done so on mulitple occasions...

18.)I have deleted this post so far once and posted prematurely also once..

19.)Shitty things are supposed to happen to only awsome people...I am far from awsome yet shitty things always happen to me..

20.)I am heartless..I feel no compassion to those you seek it and I offer no sympathies to those who deserve it

Sugar BuzZzZ

non-fiction,humour,



3:30 pm dentist clinic

"Hurry up Beeto, I wanna go home," Faith lets out irritably between mouthfuls of sour sugar coated candy.
Lilacs looks up from the magazine,"Really Faith, thats a family sized pack..Why dont you leave some for later?"
"Here, try it its good."Faith says shoving the bag under Lilacs's nose.
Lilacs grabs a handful from the bag and starts popping them in her mouth."Mmm these are good" she admits.
"Beeto yalla hurry up my brother is going to be on his way here soon" Faith nags whinnyingly as she shoves another handful of candy in her mouth.
Lilacs looks at Faith worriedly,"Habibiti why dont you slow down?"
Faith snorts and continues shoving candy down her throat..Her complexion was turning pasty white..
Lilacs grabs the candy bag out of Faith's hands laughing and proclaims,"Now, Im going to put this in my purse and give it you when you get in the car"
Lilacs glances up from putting the candy in the bag and all she sees visible of Faith's usually large features,were her eyes.. Her eyes had enlarged tenfold and there seems to be no stoping them..
"Give me back my candy"she whispers heartbroken
Lilacs laughs gentaly"Baby I will but not now, your going to have a sugar stroke, you almost ate the entire bag"
"Give me back my candy...Now!!"Faith exclaims with her voice raising noticeably.
"I will but.."
"NO!!!!!!......I........Want......My..candy...NOW !!"Faith practically shrieks accentuating each word with a stomp of her foot..
"I wannnnnnnnnnnt it noooooooooooooooooow"She continues tearfully while stumping her feet and banging her fists agianst her knees.
Lilacs stares at Faith baffled and amazed. The last time she saw a full fledged tantrum was from a two year old Kuwaiti kid who had two maids at his beak and call. But Faith is a grown up woman..Surely its just a joke..

"Faith, stop"Laughs uncertainly and looks around grinning embrassedly at the people who were starting to watch.
"No..Give me my candy back you stealer" Faith's insists with a tear sliding down her cheek..
Lilacs stares at her confused and astonished..

Beeto looks over her shoulder,"Could you guys shut up for abit?,I cant hear myself think"she says angerly.
"She took my candy"Faith said accusingly while pointing at Lilacs.
"I dont care just shut up"

Faith grabs Lilacs's arm and whispers pathetically,"Please, just give me back my candy..Please"
Lilacs continues staring at her like an idoit..
Faith's grip tightens menacingly,"Give it to me...Now"
Lilacs gets the bag out of her bag and hands it to Faith bewildered and intersted.
Faith grabs the bag and starts eating like she hasnt seen any kind of food for months..
Lilacs leans to her left and whispers in Faiths ear,"Dose that contain any kind of illegal substance?"
Faith looks up from the bag and says with her mouthful with powder sugar spraying everywhere,"Huh?"
Lilacs sets back and wonders if she should start booking mental doc appointments for all her friends...




This was not the only incident in regards to Faith and her sugar addiction..Just recently while attending a get together for bint's sister, she wanted to cause bodily harm to bint for eating the last sugar candy..

Now I know it was mean of bint to eat her candy(it really wasnt nessvcary bint didnt even want it) But honestly she was totally uncontrolable..

The point of this story is..Faith should go or often to her anger management classes and Apperances can be deciving..

**Update!!**

Hiya fellow faithful bloggers..If you have been following along with my so called blogging(I apologize agian) I have an update to announce..

**clears throat**

I

went

to

see

the

therapist..or is it the shrink?..the nutty doctor?..umm the crazy doc?..

ugh just the doc that pretneds to listen to your endless list of compliants..

Ok here it goes..

So the day of my appointment comes..A dear dear friend of mine had come from montreal so we decieded to meet up for breakfast and do something together..

Appointment 2:00

I was sacavanging through used books when I look at the clock and saw it was 1:30..Im like oh dear how horrible Im going to miss my session**in my head..GOOD!!*So I call up another friend who sees also the crazy doc(yea everyone I know has ISSUES** So I ask for the number and decided to just cancel the damn thing..So I call...

Reciptionist:Hello Health and Counselling Sevices **insert uni name here** University..How may I help you?

Me:Hey..Whats up? Yea I just wanted to cancel an appointment with the crazy doctor

Reciptionist:I beg your pardon?

Me:**gets slapped from friend..Glares at friend**Umm ahh I had an appointment with a umm which ya ma call it ahhh theripist chick..

Recptionist:Oh alright when is your appoint ment for?

Me:**looks at cellphone clock**oh in umm 30 minutes...

Recptionist:Alright..But we are going to have to charge you

Me:**looks at a sydeny sheldon book**Yea yea ok how much?

Recptionist:Oh $80

Me: *drops book* Oh yea? Umm you know what? On second thought I seriously need to see the lady..I'll be there in oh 30 minutes? I might be a little late you know Oc transpo**laughs with no humour**

Reciptionist:Alright but you only will have the time you have left when you come..

Me:yea yea whatever..Thank you have a nice day**closes phone**

I get to the place..Breathless..Sweaty..Smelly..And soooo unrefined.. and Im late..

One thing about me I am a lover of punctuality..Comes from the fear your father will kick your ass if you come home late from school..

So the nutty lady was waiting right there in the hallway..She was all smiles , blonde hair blue eyes..I was just about to turn around and walk out of the place..When I noticed her necklace..It was sooo pretty..It matched her eyes perfectly..So I asked where did she get it from? What did it represent? I gave her a breif history of precious gems in the middle east..Then she asked about my necklace and we got into a convo about swords and the power of seduction they held over men and women..This is just a breif section of the convo we had.loool enjoy...

I asked her everything about psychology..How long did it take you to graduate? Where you graduated from? Did she find it hard to find a job and ect..

I think she was a bit upset..Just a bit.. She then interuppted out of nowhere and started telling what was on my mind..

I gave her one of my 1000watt smiles and shrugged"If I knew I wouldnt be here now would I?"

She laughed..(she had such a girly laugh..I was entranced)"That is true, but how do you feel now?"

I frown a bit"Great..The usual"

"Ah I see, well now you listed that you have commitment issues as one of your reasons here on the hsset**she says while she skims the sheet I filled out running into the place..

"I also listed lack of attention span..and loss of memory"

"Yes,yes you did,about your commitment issues.."

"No no THATS the positive thing about my personality"I say proud of myself,"I am a cautious boring nonspontanous person ever since I was a child and I dont like being tied down for anything..I mean uni is the biggest commitment I have ever made..I mean my phone is on a monthly contract"

Lady:"Oh alright but why dont we start from your friends, you do have friend yes?"

Moi:"Oh yea yes of coures"

lady:"Do you have speical friends? Like best friend?"

Moi:"Nope I dont discriminate..All my friends are just that friends..I dont label..I hate labels"

Lady:"I mean dont you have a friend that your really close too?"

Moi:"Sure, I have lots..Im a very socail person"

Lady:"No I mean some one you share everything with..Your thoughts ideas and personal experiances."

Moi:"Yes I got you the first time..I have plenty of friends who I ask advice about underwear"

Lady:"So you dont have a single best friend?"

Moi:"No..Why would I have only one?"

Lady:"Alright how about a boyfriend?"

Moi:"Plenty of those too, boys are fun to be around"

Lady:"No just a single boy who you have feelings for more then friendship"

Moi:"Oh you mean like a lover?Nah not allowed in my religion"

Lady:"Oh right, do you like anyone right now?"

Moi:"Like who?"

Lady:"A boy do you some feelings for a boy right now?"

Moi:**snorts**No I dont have feelings for boys"

Lady:"Oh I see do you have feelings for a girl now?"

Moi:**blinks..laughs outloud for like an hour**You mean am I like a lesibian?..No I think girls are gorgous but I wouldnt sleep with them.."

Lady:"Feelings isnt about sleeping with someone..But you dont like girls ?"

Moi:"Sure I like girls..But I dont want to be with one..Trust me..I LIKE boys really..I really do.."

Lady:"Alright but you dant feelings for a particular boy now, am I right?"

Moi:*Nods head**

Lady:"Have you ever been in love before?"

Moi:"Nope, thats a really nice desktop..I didnt HP made such nice desktops..Its hot"

Lady:"I know its nice looking I have no idea if its good or not, I dont really like computers"

Moi:"That was me too before i got hadiar"

Lady:"Haidar?"

Moi:"Yea haidar thats my laptop he is HP too"**at this point I could see her thoughts..She thinks Im bloody mad** **Laughs**I know people who name thier body parts and I thought it would be cute if I named my laptop for laughs you know?"

Lady:"I see that does sound funny"

Moi:May I use the restroom?"

Lady:*Looks at her watch, will its almost time to go anyway...Lets just book you a check up in a week ok?"

Moi:"I need another sesssion?"

Lady:*laughs* Nothing is only once..We can talk about you more next time.."

Moi:"Niiice...Cant wait"

So that was a summary of my session..I thought It was hilarous..I pretty uncomfortable talkingto a stranger about people I know..I dont know I dont think I will show up next..But then agian I want to know where she got her shoes from..Soooooo cute!!

lol

Take it easy...