Thursday, September 28, 2006

Crash Course..

Time: 2nd day of ramadan, two hours before fatoor.
Place:Parking lot behind the driving centre.
Victim:Yours truly
Criminal:Daddy dearest

Resting my forhead on the steering wheel,I try really hard to think of a happy place. Somewhere where my father is not standing outside in his home dishdash,bathrooom slippers and red face. A place where his voice (which is now causing people to stare from balconies above the parkinglot) would not reach me.

No luck..

Dad: I dont understand how you cant park backwards..**very aggitate voice,throwing his hands around in anger**

I look up,my chin hitting the horn and letting out a ear pericing blare.."ooooooooOooopps, baba wala Im trying look I parked only on the yellow line!" I say trying to pacify him.

Staring at me with violent intentions he marches to drivers door and yanks it open."Get out you blind child and look"He replies with his teeth clenched and sweat starting to show on his forehead.

Sighing I get out of the car and look at the car..Soo ok it the car was parked in two spaces..Big deal!! Ill just make sure not to park backwards if there are cars around..

"shoofi wain you parked!!, Baba lily look you drive past the parking spot curve your car only slightly,then put the car in reverse and back up stright for two paces then kisree il sikan" He says camly with heavely accented english.

Lily:**nods intellegently her shala bouncing** eeee Inshalla..I'll get it!

Backing up form the car he crosses his arms and stands arabic like (ya3ni arragontly,like he owns the place) "Ok baba imshi gadaam"

Lily:**grinning at him reassuringly,I toss the car into drive and hit the accelator"

Baba**shouting when I narrowly missed his feet**:"shawy shawy,wain 6aira ya be3eera?"

Lily:**laughs like a hyena" I mean I had to stop the damn car people..Not the polite laughter..Ahhh noo it was like insane hysterical laughter:P


I stop the car abruptly and keep laughing as he marches up to it pretty upset.

Baba:"gooliliii inti shino funny? Lo ga6a3ti my toes shino kina ra7 insaweee???!?!?!?"

Im sorrry but the image of this huge man jumping up and down in pain in his dishdash and bleeding toes in this not so vacant parking lot was just tooooo funnny!! So I kept laughing and he kept berating..On and on for about ten minutes.

Baba:"Fine you dont want to drive,no license no car"

Lily: Laaa khalas baba walla soorry Loook.*I hit the drive as my dad jumps back from the car*
I cruise around the parking lot grinning at the good looking indan who was leaning on his motorcycle watching us..He grinned back and saluted with his hat(gorgous creature..subhan ilkhali'3..) ;)

Ilmuhim had fun fun fun..My dad swore on heaven and earth that 1)I will never learn to park backwards and 2)If I drove the way I drive right now in any car I will be in an accident in two minutes flat...

I kinda agree with the poor man..Who I told rather meanly that I could have left him thier in the parking lot and it was out of the goodness of my heart that I decided to allow him back in the car..Needless to say he wont be giving me anymore lessons..I was such a good driver before kuwait..Damn kuwaiti lawlessness ruined me..

How about you folks? Any brave souls willing to give a driving lesson?;P

Friday, September 22, 2006

Ramadan Resolutions..

First thing is first...

Allah yatgabal i3malakuom:D
Now... With that out of the way I have decided to start a new tradition**claps her hands gleefully** Every year I sit down and write a list of resolutions..For some reason I make it my duty not to folllow through a single one..Must be a psychological thing:P Ilmuhim this year I want to do one for Ramadan..Now many of the things may seem childish or a given to many of you "religous" people..But for me its hard work:P So here goes nothing...
1)Derek is completely wiped out and replacing the spanish ballads,and hip hop is dua koomal and quraan(I can handle it..)
2)Swearing is strictly prohibited(**deep breath**I know I can I know I can I know I can:P)
3)Prayers must be on on time I mean not an hour or two late but like right on the dot..Skipppppppy classssssssesss woooooooooooohooooo
4)Attitude adjustment (OooOoohhh I beleive in miracles since you came alooooooong you sexy babe):P 9ig ma istee7i 3aib wala 3aib
5)Give charity(this should be easy, dad leaves change all over the place:P)
6)Make an effort to stay up after fajir to make duaa(noooooo my sleeeeeeeeeeep **teary eyed**)
7) Read ALONG with the quran to at least finish it once..Since if I read by myself alllll alooone Ill finish in Ramadan 2008:P
8)Obstain from kicking my bros smug little face in when I feel like it..One kick once a week..PLz?
9)Appear serene and collected rather then my usual hurried snob influence stance..maaaaaaaaaaabe mabe mabe
10)Make an effort to not touch anything my mom makes:P Ill try too keep off the pounds i lost..Easier said then done :P..
Third thing...
I get to spend ramadan with my parents...I just thought to rub it in for all those peeps who are living on thier own trying to be all educated and stuff:P I get laban you loooooooooosers:P Im sorry that wasnt nice..**clears throat** My house and my fatooor table is open to any of you sad unfortunate souls out there..Ill set another setting just for you 3ooonkoum:D..
Enjoy your month nice..Smile more..laugh more..:D

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Same ol Same ol

lily--**nose completely buried in John Grishams, The testament"
Dad--**to little bro** flan called today..
Little bro-- oh yea? How is he? Isnt he going to come to come here and do his masters?
Dad-**nods** Thats the plan but he just wants to make enough money right now so he can get married..(I can FEEL his stare)
Little bro--**laughs** He has more then enough money right now.
lily--**still reading**
lil bro--You met flan right?
lily--**still reading**
lil met flan right?
Lily--**looks up distracedly and grunts then goes back to reading**
Mom-- A handsome fellow that flan is..
Lil bro--Yea he is..
Dad--he might come by eid time!
Mom--aww how nice make sure he comes and stays with us for a bit and find him an apartment near us
Lil Bro--lily dont you care that flan is coming?
Lily--**grunts and flips a page**
Lil bro--**taps the book with his finger**
Lily--**sets the book down and glares at him** What do you want?
Lil Bro--flan is coming..
Lily--**gets more comfortable on the couch,fixes her glasses on her nose and puts the book in its place of honor..In front of her face** Ba3dan ya3ni? Want me to get him a lollipop?
Lil bro-- your so weird walla..
Mom--dont talk that way about your sister..
Lil bro--Why dont you just marry your books? Thats all your good for anyway..Reading and failing your classes..
Lily--**looks up from her book quickly**You go marry flan and Ill marry my books..A win win situation..**grins and goes back to reading**

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Random...what else is new?

--Recovering..Who am I kidding? Im over it but the brusies are taking thier sweet time.

--Moved back in with my family..I know I know...**deep breath**

--Setting up an account with a couple of assisans..I need some people to be taken out..

--New semester started..Or so the rumors say..

--Utopia is over rated

--The shia are under rated

--I gotta stop cleaning..Its annoyiong me and everyone around me

--Caffiene..Baby Im back.

--Chest press 15 ..Leg press 80 ..Bench press 30

--I hate the treadmill..I hate the people who can run for over 10 minutes:P..

--Thinking of going to haj..Shocking I know close your damn mouths..

--I cant find the box with my shoes...I think someone stole them..

--Lily parking--------Keep waiting

--Should pay my phone bill..No wait daddy should..

--Love pure posion by dior.

--Should stop sticking out my tongue at people..Soooooooo childish..

--Ramadan coming word...YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--addicted to spanish music

--Wireless should be up and running by tuesday...

--Men are utterly useless and clueless..