Thursday, September 28, 2006

Crash Course..

Time: 2nd day of ramadan, two hours before fatoor.
Place:Parking lot behind the driving centre.
Victim:Yours truly
Criminal:Daddy dearest

Resting my forhead on the steering wheel,I try really hard to think of a happy place. Somewhere where my father is not standing outside in his home dishdash,bathrooom slippers and red face. A place where his voice (which is now causing people to stare from balconies above the parkinglot) would not reach me.

No luck..

Dad: I dont understand how you cant park backwards..**very aggitate voice,throwing his hands around in anger**

I look up,my chin hitting the horn and letting out a ear pericing blare.."ooooooooOooopps, baba wala Im trying look I parked only on the yellow line!" I say trying to pacify him.

Staring at me with violent intentions he marches to drivers door and yanks it open."Get out you blind child and look"He replies with his teeth clenched and sweat starting to show on his forehead.

Sighing I get out of the car and look at the car..Soo ok it the car was parked in two spaces..Big deal!! Ill just make sure not to park backwards if there are cars around..

"shoofi wain you parked!!, Baba lily look you drive past the parking spot curve your car only slightly,then put the car in reverse and back up stright for two paces then kisree il sikan" He says camly with heavely accented english.

Lily:**nods intellegently her shala bouncing** eeee Inshalla..I'll get it!

Backing up form the car he crosses his arms and stands arabic like (ya3ni arragontly,like he owns the place) "Ok baba imshi gadaam"

Lily:**grinning at him reassuringly,I toss the car into drive and hit the accelator"

Baba**shouting when I narrowly missed his feet**:"shawy shawy,wain 6aira ya be3eera?"

Lily:**laughs like a hyena" I mean I had to stop the damn car people..Not the polite laughter..Ahhh noo it was like insane hysterical laughter:P


I stop the car abruptly and keep laughing as he marches up to it pretty upset.

Baba:"gooliliii inti shino funny? Lo ga6a3ti my toes shino kina ra7 insaweee???!?!?!?"

Im sorrry but the image of this huge man jumping up and down in pain in his dishdash and bleeding toes in this not so vacant parking lot was just tooooo funnny!! So I kept laughing and he kept berating..On and on for about ten minutes.

Baba:"Fine you dont want to drive,no license no car"

Lily: Laaa khalas baba walla soorry Loook.*I hit the drive as my dad jumps back from the car*
I cruise around the parking lot grinning at the good looking indan who was leaning on his motorcycle watching us..He grinned back and saluted with his hat(gorgous creature..subhan ilkhali'3..) ;)

Ilmuhim had fun fun fun..My dad swore on heaven and earth that 1)I will never learn to park backwards and 2)If I drove the way I drive right now in any car I will be in an accident in two minutes flat...

I kinda agree with the poor man..Who I told rather meanly that I could have left him thier in the parking lot and it was out of the goodness of my heart that I decided to allow him back in the car..Needless to say he wont be giving me anymore lessons..I was such a good driver before kuwait..Damn kuwaiti lawlessness ruined me..

How about you folks? Any brave souls willing to give a driving lesson?;P


Blogger Faith said...


bas walla zayn ur dad is a brave soul, first time i got in a car with my dad i drove up the side walk and nearly hit a tree..thats the one time i really feared for my life [not from the accident, from the volcano waiting to erupt sitting next to me] all i heard was "" then he banned me from wearing heels and driving that rule is out the window noww

anyhew speakin of ill driving, guess whos the worst criminal? took the vehicle to the pharmacy, and being the dumbass that i am when i went to leave i started driving with the sidebreak up..this arab guy was waving frantically for me and told me to put it down *blush*

sooo let us return to the kitchens cuz apparently thats where we belong

10:10 AM  
Blogger Common_Sense said...

looooool 7elwa bs 9ej she6anaa. elrayal m3a9eb wenty te'97keen .. bnaat a'7eer zmaan wain el7yaaa @@

4:46 AM  
Blogger Princess said...

loool why do we need to learn that!! i failed my driving test thing because of it!! ya5y why cnt we just park 3ade seeda!! hehehhee but loool at the hysterical laughing hehhehe

2:14 PM  
Blogger ZiZoTiMe said...

Ana law eb eedy chan rekabt weyach o khalaitech ted3emen fe agrb shabah... Menha neftak menech o menha ner7am hal meskeeen ely kan weyach :P

9:59 PM  
Blogger Prinseesa said...

LOOOOL! 7aram 3alaich janantee oboch! hehhe i'm up for it, a36eech driving lesson, i'm a pretty good driver (A) ,, only 5 accidnts ;P

7:08 AM  
Blogger Dandoon said...

LOL@Zizo's comment! 7aram 3alaik:p

9:47 AM  
Blogger 7asoon said...

I passed my driving test with flying colors

It is a fact though that women have poor spatial awareness ;P it's a fact... i'm not sexist!

funny post 3ainy.. funny

1:11 PM  
Blogger LiLaCs said...

Faitho-- LooooooooooooL..I dont get dads these days walla..No patience!!

the sidebrake in my opinon is a dumb invintion..Cancelled my road test..Lool:P

I love the kitchen..Lets meet up and exchange bread burning recipes.. ;)

Common sense--:P..No such thing as 7aya fee bant hil iyam ;) But we patched things up..Like daddy says ilmajnoon ma3ala 7araj;)lol

princess--I know eh? So useless..I drive better then anyone I know..but my god people dont ask me to park :P

Zizi-- I have to hide you somewhere luv..Im scared someone might kidnap you for 5'afat damak ;)

Princessa--Mashaaalaa 3alach bas 5?? 9ig type A driver:P

Dandoon--PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!! not the help:P

Hasoon--**smacks the back of hassooons head** WAINAK int!!! I had no one to abse for weeks!!!
btw..True according to psychological researches that have been done mainly in the us(due to the low IQ of the entire popluation) Women do have more trouble with spatial surroundings..But not as much difficulties as do the men with thier language skills ;)

8:47 PM  
Blogger Princess said...

LOL omfg zizo shino hal meaness hehehehe and also lilacs im sure ur the best driver ever, i know i am hehhee

4:03 AM  
Blogger Dandoon said...

Lol sorry!:p I forgot about replying to your post when I read Zizo's comment. It won't happen again:p

6:21 AM  
Blogger ZiZoTiMe said...

Oopppsss... My mistake! :P

6:07 PM  
Blogger LiLaCs said...

Princess Shefti shlon rude? Im going to make u my personal trainer..teach me oh great one ;)

Dandoon Make sure it doesnt..:P

Zizii Scram:P

7:50 PM  
Blogger No3iK said...


i read it finally lol
im not in a very good mood hon but it sure made me laugh!!

especialy the B3EEERA :p part

my driving lessons were a JOKE!
they guy who was giving me lessons ,, was a jurk ... more of a syrian horny womeniser ...
so they werent very good lessons .

i must admit that i got my license by WAS6A . yes i know im a terrible driver .. so far had 3 accidents ..
bs like they say : allah al 7afi`6

:**************** big kiss

6:00 AM  
Blogger Dandoon said...

Inshallah 3ammity:p

4:50 PM  
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