Friday, October 03, 2008

messed up

I wandered around for hours, in heels nonetheless, not talking not smiling not really look at or for anything. I felt lost, so utterly lost. I kept staring blankly and stopping randomly on the street.It was freezing today my bag was heavey my feet hurt my nose was frozen and my eyes were watering, adding insult to injury I had my period, I learned that I am behind all my classes and didn't even start my thesis..But all that aside, I found out that the closest people to me didnt know me. Who I was, what I am, what I do or how I act. That I am nothing but a snobby, snotty, spoiled, self absorbed bitch. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that? I mean I know my faults, by god, I do, but really?

to say the least..not a good day, week or month..

I want to just walk away..I dont want to compulsively try to fix everything, I want to disappear. I don't want to care.. I want to have a breaking point, where I explode and let it all out. I don't want to be so logical and practical. I want to just be free.

make it stop..


Blogger Hussain said...

it sucks when this happens
my boyfriend doesn't really know who i am or what i like, he knows a few things that are so obvious about me but thats it. and when i tell him things that i like he acts so shocked and surprised i want to kill the fucker on the spot!
kuwaiti homos suck ass!


8:45 PM  
Blogger LiLaCs said...

hussain--men..cant live with them cant live without them..

9:44 PM  
Blogger Shwaish said...

lily 7abeebti hal feeling hurts like a bitch. shofay im sure u know ur faults and if other people choose to see them differently or embelish them then malat 3alaihum i hope they drop dead right now! :* i wish i could make it stop, for u , me and 7saini

1:07 AM  
Blogger ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

i hit the point you hit a couple of years ago. then i shoved myself into the world of i dont give a shit abt anything

worked like a charm...

5:47 PM  
Blogger Moos the Monk said...

ummm... someone once recommended a an earthquake brownie blizzard :p

3:11 PM  

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