Nothin to Say

Annie are you ok? tell us are you ok?

2009-09-18T00:01:00.002-04:00

I am fine my lovelys. A little rough around the edges considering but otherwise perfectly imperfect sanity is still intact;)

First of all a happy yet extremely belated coffee free Ramadan Kareem (eid kareem in a couple of days lol. its how I roll)

Havent killed he who has spawned me, I am doing what I do best. I am pretending he dosent exist. He isnt cooperating. I am stubborn. Np

Started my fall semster for my year one of my masters * drum roll please* classes as follows

-stats--regression (sound fimilar? yes I took the undergraduate one in math/engineering. How different can this be?)

-neuroscience seminar - my thesis supervisor is teaching it so it should be intersting...I am presenting first..me and my big mouth.. Hold your breath ladies and my lovely gents its called

Orexin A/Hypocretin-1 Selectively Promotes Motivation for Positive Reinforcers..

I dont even know what the fuck that means..lol good start

-stress and hormones--department head is teaching this. thinks I belong back in engineering. I kinda agree with him

pro seminar- I have no idea whats happening here loool. I was busy making paper planes..I am riverting back to childhood phase...Someone call freud

I am TA (um teaching assistant I beleive is the term) and RA ing (research assistant, as you can see I assist alot..)

working both jobs retail and as the youth coordinator thingy.

I am writing grants, not sleeping, moaning about my load, demanding retail therapy, and ingesting copious amounts of caffiene.. God I love school.

Gonna take a mixed martial arts class to release my pent up anger. the running is just not cutting and the gym might kick me out for breaking two treadmills. I did mixed martial arts business before. Last november..Ended up with a swollen black eye and a cracked cheek bone. I got my butt handed to me..In my defense the helmet slipped and her foot just kept connecting with my face.

Now I relize how I sound like on here, but in the "real" world, at first glance I am classy, dressed in suits ties, scarves, designer blazers matching pearls and the works. Make up perfectly in place and I never lose my cool.ever. So you get the idea of me being professional, slightly air headed cause I smile absent mindedly all the time and that I am a feminine lady. Suffice to say I am not, its a facade, i like it. It gives me an edge. Anyway, Showing up to school with a swollen face might give me some streeet cred. You never know when you need some streeet cred.

stay ok my lovlies

disappointed

2009-08-03T03:38:00.002-04:00

I was minding my own business, going through my life in the same motions. Everyday. I didn't complain, hell I didn't even mind it.

I don't have drama, I don't look for anguish,pain or a reason to be unhappy.

me

I am predictiable boring fuckin stable

So you would think I could stay out of disappointment. Just this once, not to be involved.

Nope.

My father couldn't keep his fly zipped therefore we get punished.

Yes I know I am selfish that I am worried about my balanced bland life and that I should be more concerned about my mother, who while unperfect can be faithful, and my siblings.

I am not even upset. I feel disappointed. so fuckin disappointed. I mean not only is he screwing around in a different country he is married with a child apparently on the way.

He told no one.

Goes to show ya eh? 24 years of marriage and four kids dont change a playa. Intersting

I would pay good money to get inside his head. I wonder if he would volunteer his services for an fMRI and a survey.

Way to screw up an already screwed up situation yal habeeb. Way to go dad, bonus points for the kid man.

Stay noncommittal my lovelys. Commitment is overrated

Happpy Belate waaaaaay Belated Canada Day!!

2009-07-06T23:54:00.012-04:00

My country boys!!! See them boys clapping? They were doing the two step as well..I surely do need me some country lovin ;P

It looked like it was gonna rain but it blew away..pretty though eh?

the chick with the white head band must be a stalker..shes in alot of my photos..

Hellooooo
Freaky..I know..We are a country of crazies
Knaaan
Skateboarding moves..hot men, no cloths, hot weather good music and awesome moves..good time
This is my faveroite pic of all time..My sis and her friend are following my BFF as if he is thier mother duckling...Cute? Hellls to the yea
Acrobatic stuff

So thats allll folks. I have so many more pics but I didnt feel like u would be intersted in seeign them:P Back to "normal" posting soon!!

Stay patriotic my lovlies!!

Michigan State University--Society for Behavioral Neuroendocrinology

2009-07-03T20:59:00.009-04:00

michigan state university campus = heaven
theres our spartan!! aint he just a dasher? hm?
Baseball..dumb sport..great facility though:P
More prettieness
my walk..ei. getting lost and walking towards detriot..no joke
Riding shot gun, cause apparently the arab shouldnt drive..I was only SLIGHTLY above the speed limit..sheesh..crossing the border to home
Had an awesome time at michigan!!
I was so pleasently suprised that everyone was soo nice and so naked! lol

Ok time for a lilesque story

So we were staying at a dorm eh? Each one of us were roomed alone and we were spread out on three floors. The boys and girls would go out drinking every night, me I would go back to my room and read..Its how I roll. I know I am too cool to handle

Ilmuhim

So during the four days I was there I always had to pee at 4 am. Even my bowl movements are punticutual and effiecent lol

Ilmuhim

so 4 am every morning, I am in yoga pants a cuttoff t shirt in vibrant yellow or vibrant orange ( I like to switch it up) that declared that I was either too hot to handle or the peace on earth was imperative..

So I lumber down the hall with a sorry excuse of a shala on my head (ie. hair sticking out in random places)

Seeing that it was 4 am I THOUGHT it was safe to assume that no one was up or that they were too drunk to notice the little arab

WRONG

Every single one of those mornings I saw the SAME guy..

Half naked save for boxers (the last day i was there he had a towel, it covered more..pity) brown hair I think he had brown hair (waaayyy too early and waay to tired to notice or care) and a lovely lovely upper body.

now I am sure by now those of you who are silent readers know me well enough to know I cannot resist a well defined upper body. I appericate them all as long as they have at least a bit of muscle.

this one was a lean one ladies and gents.

ilmuhim
so usually he is coming from te bathroom and I am going to the bathroom. I just nod or completely ignore him

on the last day

he said in a much too wide awake voice " we really should stop meeting like this.." and laughed at me..

I stood there trying to wake up from my hour nap then said immaturely " you need to find some cloths man..I have some if u need it"

and I walked away

I know..

pathetic?

just a little bit..

jesus

thats all for today folks
you got two posts in one day..it was ur lucky day i guess

stay awake my lovelyess

Neglect

2009-07-03T20:30:00.003-04:00

I know I am terrible with you guys.. Just terrible I leave you always so unexpectedly all the time. But I love you in my own demented noncomittal way:P For your patience I am going to update daily with pics cause I have been so busy running around.

Whats been going on:

GRADUATION: hooolllllar totally went, wasnt going to but I did. Had a blast.

MICHIGAN: SBN conference was just terrific--pics to come

CANADA DAY: loooooved the concerts, I was on the jumbotrun (big screen thingy) absent mindedly hitting my bff with a flag..he looked miskeen lol. I looked evil go figure. After I found out I blew the camera man a kiss..I know..dont ask

So yea still working still looking for work. Still looking forward to school.

I am gonna go comment like crazy

stay hotness my loveliess

Quckie ;)

2009-05-13T22:53:00.002-04:00

*sighs* took me I think three years to fully understand this song, but no worries. I got it in the end:P!

Bon chanson nadim

My mother used to sing this to me when I was a baby. When we first moved to Montreal, I sang it to my french neighbours. It was my way of communicating seeing that I didnt speak a word of french or english at 3 ;).

will do some serious blog hopping, soon I promise

Stay ethnic my lovelys;)

Saudi Embassy

2009-05-06T21:53:00.002-04:00

Why I am NOT getting the position of student advisor at the Saudi Embassy

Location: The Saudi Consulate-Canada
Time: 10 am
Weather: pouring rain
Transportation: 2 buses and 10 minutes of walking down the highway in the pouring rain with cars spalshing along merrily

lily: me:P
sec: white security dude
Cutie: cute intern or something
Int1: interveiwer one
Int2: interview two

Lily : *walks into the consulte and grins at the sec* "Hi honey" *walks through the metal detector thingy*

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Lily : *laughs* "Sorry sorry"*puts her bag and necklace on the counter and tries agian*

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Lily : *frowns* "I dont have anything else thats metal..."

Sec : *emotionaless* "Empty your pockets please"

Lily: "I am wearing a club manoco ensemble, I have no pockets babe" *taps her sides"

sec : *looks her over*

Lily: *grabs her breasts* "my bra I think has metal wiring...

Sec: *looks startled and just hands her the stuff*

Lily: *walks into the reception and sees that everyone was staring at her*

Lily: *smiles* "gooood morning!"

Crowd : *silence and a few glares from some hot chicks*

Lily : *shrugs and sets down her wet umberlla on the hardwood floor and wonders around the reception looking intently at the flower arrangements*

Cutie: *looks around the reception and calls out* "Madam Lily?"

Lily: *keeps staring and smiles* "That would be me handsome"

Cutie: *looks flustered and replys solemnly* "This way please"

--->Up a spiral hardwood stare case, into a bunch of offices with very pretty receptionists through another hardwood door through mazes of cubicles into an orante room with two very arab looking dudes in expensive suits

Lily: *100 watt smiles* "Good morning GentalMen, Salam Allikum"

Int1 : *remiains setting* "Wa allikum, please come in"

Lily: *walks in and towards the chair in the front of the huge desk and smiles at int2* "Hi"

Int2: *nods and looks away*

Int1: *Shuffles through my resume and papers* "So who do you know in the consult?"

Lily: *lifts an eyebrow* "No one"

Int1: "How did you know about the job opening then?"

Lily: "It was posted online in the Citizen, and I just sent my resume to the email provided"

Int1: *looked suprised and looks through my papers agian* "Intersting.."

Lily: *looks at the Int2*

Int2: *looks away with disgust*

Lily: *tries to hold back laughter*

Int1: "tell me lily why do you want this job?"

Lily: *shifts in her chair*"Well, it looked intersting and I am looking for fulltime employment over the summer and I feel..."

Int1: "Ok ok, what are you studying?"

Lily: *blinks* "I ah, just finished a Bsc. in Neuroscience, with minors in Stats and Math at ..."

Int1: "Ok ok, what languages do you speak?"

Lily: *thrown off from the second interupption* "I ah, speak english, arabic and french"

Int1:" Why arent you speaking arabic now?"

Lily: "You are speaking english to me so why would I reply in arabic?"

Int1: "where are you from Lily?"

Lily: *bewildered a bit* "I am ethnically iraqi, born in Kuwait, raised mainly in glasgow and canada"

Int1: "So you have an iraqi passport?"

Lily: *is genuniely confused* "No I dont"

Int1: "Why not? Where you born here?"

Lily: "No I was born in Kuwait but I am just Canadian"

Int1: "Ok ok, where in Iraq are you from?"

Lily: *thinks he is on crack* "My family is from Basra"

Int1:"Are you muslim?"

Lily: *wonders if he is really high on something or just being an ass. gesturing at my scarf and attire* "Yea I am"

Int1: "So you are shia?"

Lily: *taken aback, bursts out laughing* "Yea actually I am, does it matter?"

Int1: *looks suprised from my tone* "No no of course not"

Lily: *grins openly at int1*

Int1: *clears his throat*"What makes you qaulified for this job?"

Lily: "I have strong background in student relationships, and coming from an ethnically and culturally diverse background, I feel that I can.."

Int1: "Ok ok, what are you going to do in the fall?"

Lily:*getting agitated from the interupptions* "I am doing a masters in Neuro "

Int1: "Why?"

Lily: *takes a deep breath *"because that is what I need to do in order to become a professor"

Int1:"ah ok, so thats what you want to do? teach?"

Lily: "Yea maybe Im not sure, I don't do ten year plans.."

Int1: "Why not?"

Lily: *needs an asprin* "ah cause I am not that type of person.."

int1: "What type of person are you?"

Lily: *frowns*" I am easy going and I like not planning every minute of my life"

Int1:*not even listening* "How much do you think your getting paid?"

Lily: *not even trying to follow his train of thought* "I honestly have no idea"

Int1:"What do you expect?"

Lily: "I dont know, I have never been employed at a consult before"

and on went the interview, madness following madness..Needless to say this is the most intersting interveiw I have ever been on..

--That was two weeks ago, and they havent called to give me the position..I am holding my breath:P

Stay employed my lovelys

Im sweet like, lalalalalala

2009-05-03T22:16:00.002-04:00

I am going insane, I mean more so then usual without stress. I mean I finished school eh? But I still go to the lab cause I am still running experiements and what not and I need to annoy my prof daily or else I feel incomplete.

Ilmuhim lets get back to the stress, I am getting withdrawl people..really its kinda sad. I work two jobs, I volunteer and I go to the lab..On top of that I am a maid/servent/slave for my family these days since i have no school..

I think you guys should also know, that I succumbed ..I did I did..I am a weak weak human being..I couldnt resist..

it was so tempting

so inviting

so mysterious

so sexy

so irresistable..

just downright erotic

I accepted the offer I got from my current uni for my masters in neuroscience..I know
I know

I should have moved to some other city-->broke ass cant do it

I should have taken a job in the middle east--> got offered, still thinking..but you get paid more when you have masters:P

I should have taken a year off to enjoy breathing normally--normal is overrated..

so yea

I cant wait for stress, how pathetic is that?!?!?!?!?

I need help..

and ice cream

stay sweet my lovelys

And it came..

2009-04-30T23:09:00.003-04:00

When an unstoppable force

Meets unmoveable object

------------------welcome home daddy

J'ai Fini

2009-04-27T20:59:00.002-04:00

J'ai Terminer l'ecole

;)

word of honour

2009-04-24T22:01:00.003-04:00

PARADOXICAL

PARADOXICAL

PARADOXICAL

Pronunciation: \ˌper-ə-ˈdäk-si-kəl, ˌpa-rə-\
Function: adjective Date: 1598

1 a: of the nature of a paradox b: inclined to paradoxes

2: not being the normal or usual kind

very shmexy word..
I like it!

--thesis: almost there..almost.. come on come on come on..just a bit more..

An new Obession

2009-04-23T09:10:00.003-04:00

and this:)

*licks* brilliant, just friggin brillant *cuddles* Ibiiiiiii!!! lol

Still writing, clock is ticking, to graduate or not to graduate on time is today's question.

Stay fabulous my lovelys

Decisions, Decisions

2009-04-18T21:51:00.003-04:00

Ciara or JT? How about both;)

mmmmmm that would work very well for me;)

Still working on the discussion:P

stay oh so sexy my lovelys

obessions

2009-04-16T21:43:00.002-04:00

Hi :)

I should be totally be writing my discussion that is due tomorrow..But hey! Since do I do what I should be doing? Besides "should" is such a subjective word.

Ilmuhim

here are my guilty pleasures

-lie to me (tv show)
-the mentalist (tv show)
-the big bang theory (tv-show)
-chinese/vietnamese/thai food (food ;))
-volcanic red (lipstick)
-fried bananas vanilla ice cream (yumminess)
-reebok running shoes (shoes)
-the dude at the chinese resturant (lickable speicmen)
-candy coated killahz (t-dot techno group)

hmmm thinking about it, its no wonder why I am getting those shitty marks this semster:P

I love you all, the newly englished Princess/Swasishies il maynooona more then the rest (just a bit more:P)

Statistical Insanity Ensues

2009-04-11T00:07:00.003-04:00

this was done at my uni ;) I will upload my version of this insanity in three years!! lol.

This was done as a grade raising assigment for Phd statistics in Psych/Neuro

My fav. MANOVA..I feel for you babes, I feel for you..

Good Luck Guys!
Stay Statistically Significant my lovelys;)

Heninger

2009-04-06T16:33:00.001-04:00

Heninger (1999)

There is no clear evidence of a single receptor system with a specific relation to a specific behavior..

Draw your conclusions lovers.

Grad School Update

2009-04-01T10:32:00.002-04:00

Montreal: In and In
Ottawa: In
Vancover: In
Victoria: In
Lethridge: In
New York: In
London: In
Nova Scotia: In
Alberta: In
The Moon: In

National Geographic: REJECTED
MIT: REJECTED
Ottawa: REJECTED
Sothbeys: REJECTED
Jupitar: REJECTED
NASA: REJECTED
Edinberg: REJECTED
Liverpool: REJECTED
Chicago: REJECTED

I dont know man I dont know..

Currently--> still chipping away at the friggin thesis and classes and exams..sheesh. Burned out totallllly. But yea c'est la vie eh?

Stay insane my lovelys

school

2009-03-13T18:43:00.003-04:00

sleep: average 3 hours a night (a good night)

social interaction: grunting

productivity: slower then arabs at ramdan during noon

feeling: just utterly overwhelmed

maintaing: some sanity

healing: my visa has gotten a serious work out last week (thank you Club Monoco, Banana Republic, Tommy Hilfiger, Nine West and the vintage store that I visted)

emotionally: raw, but trying to recover

looking forward: white river rafting and http://www.milehighparachuting.com/

wanting: it to be May

needing: a break, just a few days to clean my mind, body and room

gonna: get through this shit if it kills me..I dont stay down when I am pounded

seriously thinking: about insanity

writing: my thesis..trying..really hard

considering: nothing blank

stay gorgeous my lovelys

Dans l'amour avec Montréal

2009-02-26T13:39:00.008-05:00

Loved it once, loved it twice, loves it forever!! Im thinking seriously off doing school there..They are beautiful people, lovely city, good food, yummy men and women. Just perfect!

Currently trying to fix alllllllllllll the things that went wrong the past few weeks..Wish me luck people!!

Its written yea..but no one did the proof reading!

2009-02-19T18:13:00.002-05:00

shit

shit block of two weeks..

oooooooooooooffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttt

good news, havent indulged in cake or chocolate..Still going to the gym

bad news, I am now sucking on the cancer sticks agian...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh. Just FED UP.

fuck fuck fuck ffuck

make it go away.

EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING is going wrong..

why??????

oh wait I know why cause it fun to see me being fucked..agian and agian

not impressed

on a happier note, my visa has gotten a nice work out here
www.thinkgeek.com
and here
www.threadless.com
and here
www.nationalgeographic.com
and here
www.sephora.com
and here
www.sheldonshirts.com
yea...

and on this weekend;
montreal

lets see if lily can take more fuckin eh? Sure she can.. been there and done that babes.

Pic's gonna go up soon for winterwonder land and montreal

stay unfucked my lovelys

Happy Cupid Spanking Day

2009-02-13T16:54:00.001-05:00

To dysfunctional relationships ;)

stay fou dans l'amour my lovelys

quotes

2009-02-07T22:30:00.002-05:00

Sayings of Crazies

"oh his voice just excites my dopaminergic system"
---> lily on ne yo's voice

" ya3ni ya al habib inta 7amar?"
---> lily to a moron sales associate:P

"so you have been a goody two shoes all your life eh?"
----> muslim girl to atheist chinese girl

"come..lets cuddle"
---> lily to bus driver

"Oh good work hunny, he is just lickable!"
---> lily to her friend after meeting her friend's male partner..he was right behind me:P

"ooooooh talk to me dirty baby"
----> lily to her morning coffee

"*stroking nine west shoes outside the dressing room* oh my precious my precccious"
---> yea..outloud with sound effects..dont judge me:P

"but your a slut habibi, your opinion on morals are really irrelevant"
--> lily to gay friend over morning coffee

" oooh look!!! A new paper is out on Ghrelin!!!"
---> sad..walla sad..this was during my "break"

"you cant leave me with this..this..thing!"
--> baby sister gesturing with disgust towards my borther:P!

" why....hellloooo handsome!"
--> lily to every male that she forgets the names of

" yea.. keep moving.."
--> when people dont agree with me

"shino ya3ni shitte? you pray to ali??"
---> wow...blonde moment right there sweetheart

" I am pan sexual, I dont discriminate based on sex, gender, creed, culture, relgion or ethnicity"
---> lily letting the ultra orthodox muslim chick have a heart attack

"I would have my way with you..right here..right now..but I am eating"
-->lily to female friend who scored tickets to see the fray!!

" I cant quit you!!!!!!"
---> lily to bestie

"I dont beleive in exclusivity..we are both mutually exclusive adults"
---> explaining my relationships

"let me write that down..my hippocampus is still sleeping"
--> lily to prof on room numbers

"the caudate putamen makes me want to lick something"
--> lily on neuro anatomy

ok gonna stop, this was compiled suprising not by me, as much as self centered loser I can be, but by a friend who is keeping track of this shit:P. She just posted on facebook,so I thought of sharing it:P

stay pagal my lovelys!!

Random ramblings

2009-02-04T22:40:00.002-05:00

--got a midterm tomorrow..but I am blogging..freakin terrific

--bought a new eye liner from sephora that I had been eyeing in like forever..Stila, Onyx. Ladies (and my experimenting gents;)) if you need a black kohl like eyeliner this is the one. Positive, its veeeeeeerry black, goes on super duper creamy, so careful, and blinds like a dream. Negative, after 9 hours at school, it collects on ur inner corners, so make sure to smoke out your entire eye. Personally I dont think its worth the money..I will let u know if I change my mind

--started eating all healthy agian..regreting it already:P I am now day dreaming of strawberrry tarts

--winterlude starts next week..first winterlude without beaver tails and hot chocolate..so sad

--mother making noises about medical school..I dont know where the woman gets her ideas

--I may visit the states this summer, if everything goes as planned

--montreal is totally happening this "reading break"

-- need to go skiing..bas with who??

--need to decide what i am doing next year..if anything..

--going to go study now

stay smart my lovelys
--

I wanna

2009-02-01T16:49:00.002-05:00

go skydiving

now...

iiiiibiiiiiiiiiiii.

mom is being a mom, but thats ok I lied to her when I went bungee jumping and she was all fascinated when I showed her the tape later:P

but

its soooooooooooooo expensive!! Ok not sooooo expensive but expensive for my very poor student debated loaned ass budget..

it would come up to easily 32o CD

dude

not cool..

I need a sugar daddy or mama...volunteers?

ooffft I suppose this means picking up more shifts at work *sighs*

stay rich my lovelys

When I grow up..

2009-01-31T14:11:00.002-05:00

I wanna be..

-a mechanic
-a firefighter
-a police officer
-a lawyer
-a dancer
-a photographer
-a cook
-an olympic athelete
-an astronaut
-a nasa controller
-a writer
-a brain surgeon
-a rural health practionar
-a make up artist
-a photojournalist
-a business starter
-a noble peace prize winner
-a researcher
-a medical doctor
-a professor
-a barista
-an owner of a coffee shop
-an owner of cupcake shop
-an owner of a shoe and bag shop
-a pilot
-an actress
-an interior designer
-a plane assembler
-a mountie (RCMP)

found that out from my diaries,.. at seven, this is everything I NEEDED to be..lol all in one year.. Wow kids are strange eh?

just in case your curious..

I still wanna do them all!!!!

lmao

I need to go study..

stay stinky lovelys

I confess

2009-01-24T23:46:00.002-05:00

The Honesty tag

Sooo I have been tag by my lovley swaish/princess (see side bar for her url and her constant insanity, but hands off shes spoken for). So yea ten honest things about me.. That you don't know already...thats hard shit..I mean I am pretty much an open boring bland book..But lets see if we can drudge up anything...

1) I love rules, thus my religion gives me rules. Frustrates me at times but I abide by them cause I NEED structure..

2)I was an atheist when I was 13-14. My room was stacked with books from every religion in the world..I reverted to islam (honestly did an entire ceremony for myself) when I was 14. Personal decision, decided that this was the strictest religion so the chances of being screwed were somewhat limited.

3)I HATE labels, when your a muslim girl you get ALOT of labels..And being different just doesnt click with people.. I got and still get in trouble for just trying to be true to myself. I dont beleive that if your muslim you need to be so narrow minded. I dont mind the jews, the gays, the bi's, the whites, the blacks the watevers. On the contrary I surround myself with them..You know why? Cause they are different they are them they are free. And thats a beautiful thing

4)Ignorance pisses me off. Bending to fit a social 'box' pisses me off. No I dont have to rebel to have gay friends and no I dont need to be in hawza to pray five times a day. I dont need to drink, I dont need to sleep around , or to take off my scarf to validate that I am a westerner at heart. I am proud of who I am, without the boxes or the labels

5)I get what I want.Simply said. I work like a horse and a slave, nothing is ever handed to me nor do I expect to. I want it I go after it, I fall, I cry, who doesnt? But in the end I get it. always do.

6)I am an adaptable person, put me in the middle of the desert(daddy dearest did that when we moved to kuwait) and I will find my niche. I may whine and moan about it (big crybaby right here folks) but I manage, no I propser;)

7)I love to laugh, talk and look at things. Everything amuses me. The world is a big lovely joke and its mine to laugh at

8)My family has failed me..BIG time..But thats ok, I still carry scars and all that melodramatic bullshit but its made me a stronger person

9)I used to be so emotional as a child. but the world kicks you around some. Now will I dont deny emotions they are more subdude and rational..much more rational and controlled..bordering on nonexistent sometimes:P

10)While I am social (at times too much so) I tend to be generally lonely. I havent figured out weither its by design or chance.

dear god..that was brutal...

ok people..

your it!

You know your Canadian when..Part Deux

2009-01-20T20:53:00.003-05:00

Procastinating..bite me:P

When abroad, you have a cold fear that somebody might mistake you for an American. You make a point of deliberately being kind to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian.--> when I was in the middle east I had the Canadian flag on my backpack:P Still was asked if I was american..not impressed

You can play road hockey on skates. --> of course..who doesnt?

You know that Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores before Christmas.--> Canadian Tire is just as fun as a toy store:P

You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade--.damn right

You've ever had your tongue frozen to something--> something and someone;)

Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.-->*sighs* damn sens..

You know that the four seasons means: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road work/construction--> LOVIN IT!!

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.--> totally had my cape enlarge to fit my jacket under it:P

You have at least one ROOTS sweatshirt that always smells like cigarettes and beer.--> more of ciggeretes, the neuro lab floor and coffee:P

You find it difficult to explain "milk in a bag" to non-Canadians, and even more difficult to describe the "snippy-thing" used on bag corners. (Bonus points if your collected snippy-things are stuck to your fridge.) --> I bite it off:P

You're pretty sure you can see Alex Trebek smirking when Jeopardy contestants get the "Canada questions" wrong. Even if you weren't sure of the answer yourself, you consider yourself a hundred times smarter than the idiots who always guess, "What is .. uh, Toronto?"--> I always know the answers to the Canadian questions

You pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".--> haram..let me know I will send you some..asap

Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.You stepped on someone's foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.--> always

You die a little inside if you can't get your Tim's double-double every morning.-->actually its one milk and one sweetener..x-large.. and more then a little dies:P

You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so* not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes--> soooo fake.. rat bastards

You steal stationery from your Government of Canada co-operative education placement because you figure you can find lots of uses for paper with 'Human Resources Development Canada/Développement des Ressources Humaines Canada' written at the top.--> well...I didnt really steal it per se..I 'borrowed' it:P

You know the ingredients for poutine.--> mais oui!

You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean--> oui

You think Great Big Sea isn't Atlantic-centric enough--> messed me up pretty bad in geography man,

You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.--> yuppers

You laugh at Americans for going to jail for stealing cable, but laugh even harder when they get it for free in prison--> messed up man..

You have a Canadian flag that has a marijunia leaf on it rather then a maple leaf..--> hey it was pretty;)

Hyperactivation of the HPA axis baby

2009-01-16T15:57:00.002-05:00

Thats right..You read it right..HYPER activation.. ooooooooooffftt Im writing..Well I am supposed to be writing my thesis but I am blog hopping, news hopping, I watched all the youtube vids, I went out for coffee like three times, I have been sleeping in class, snorting (hot) at professors, the voices are getting louder in my head...

basically..Im turning into a shit student:P

why now?!?!?!?!

I need to get my butt in gear!!

thats it

no more bullshiting...

I will be in a cubicle in a corner tucked into another corner in the depths of the library if anyone needs me:P

I will finish my introduction this weekened
I will finish my introduction this weekened
I will finish my introduction this weekened
I will finish my introduction this weekened
I will finish my introduction this weekened
I will finish my introduction this weekened
.......................

think if I write this a hundred times I would get it done?

yea..I didnt think so

ok enough!

**deep breath** I shall be intimate with hormones and stress let me know if you need me:P

tc my lovliess

oh before I go...
never mind forgot what I was going to say

this post makes no sense..
ok

stopping now

ugh--not impressed

2009-01-11T19:51:00.002-05:00

Bus STRIKE is still on..oh dear god...i am in a cage!! No

wait

not a cage

a friggin box..thats inside another box..in another box wrapped in duck tape

*sobs*

They have been at it for OVER a month..

*weeps uncontrolablly*

*snifs* dont get me wrong I am all with this union and workers rights and blah blah

and I hate the fuckin mayor..

but

but

this strike is totally crumping my style man..

on the plus side..I now have calves of steel:P, thats what power walking with snow to the ankles that has black ice underneath does..

*pets her bus pass* come back to me my love come back to me with the smelly passengers, the pissy drivers, the erratic driving and the late service..come back my love come back

i miss you

Classes

2009-01-08T21:55:00.002-05:00

Nerdnation people nerdnation..When you get butterflies and get that stupid look on your face..you are a fuckin goner..Gone and no one said good bye to your sorry ass..People shouldn't feel that excited about school..

it just isnt normal..

I mean its almost like a fetish, a paraphenira, an addiction..

why would you go back and back agian for pain, frustration, humiliation and disappointment?

And not just go back..oh no ...you go back practically skipping to your friggin lectures..whistling, thats all thats missing along with kids dressed in yellow playing hopscotch in a warm enviorment, with a cold drink perspiring, reggae music and ballloons

insane

just disgusting really..

and i confess your honour..I confess..I am guilty of all the above charges and others that the court will not hear about:P

all this headach to tell you losers what classes im taking this semster:P Dont feel jealous;)

Ladies , gentalmen and those undecided my almost final semster:P

Thesis: living nightmare..frigggggin helll man...**sobs, pulls her hair** I might start drinking because of this shit** kicks the door** I am upset..really..I hate writing..shit thing to do..oooooooooofffftttt

Neuro Seminar:*snorts* geek alert geek alert..here are the creme de la creme of the neuro program gather and discuss --hold your breath-- research!!! I know!! Shocking..omg omg:P

Pharmacology:drugs*yawns* and your brain*yawns* been there done that..

Human Sex: yup you read that right..I am taking a porno class!! yaya me!!! I figure why the hell not? Suprisingly my mom was very supportive..i guess that removes any pressure of her having to have "the talk" with me eh? Should be uncomfortable and fun!

ps. I am more then willing to send my lecture slides to those who need guidence lol!

alright my lovelys stay sexhy

Mourning/Ashura

2009-01-07T16:47:00.001-05:00

3athum allah Igrakoum

addicted

2009-01-06T09:41:00.002-05:00

completely and utterly to www.nationalgeographic.com

subscribed to the original adult mag?---check
subscribed to the kids mag? ---check
bought thier "explorer" tote bag? ---check
considering taking writing classes? ---check
researching for a new camera ? ---check
feeling restless agian about careers? ---check

do you feel a new path creeping up? yup yup. The hell with the brain and all this neuroscience bull crap:P Forging on to the amazon people!!

All Over

2009-01-04T19:01:00.002-05:00

So we all know about what is happening in Gaza.. I won't talk about it cause I feel I have nothing more to add to posts already out there. I am doing my part by protesting, shouting and stomping on the snow here. I have written countless letters(I am canadian thats what we do when we are upset we right scathing letters).I know that you can get donations to them through the red cresent. If you are in north america your best bet is to send it to the middle east to be handled. Personally our family deals with the red cresent/cross in Iraq by the way of kuwait. Just make sure where you are sending it.

I dont do well when I cant fix something..I really dont..

so heres what we are gonna do..

We are going to pray. And for those of you who dont pray or dont beleive in it. Just take a moment, about five minutes will do shut your eyes and send our brothers and sisters who are suffering all over the world your postive energy.

for those of you who want to and can;

The Fatiha
Bismillaah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
Al hamdu lillaahi rabbil 'alameen
Ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
Maaliki yaumid Deen
Iyyaaka na'abudu wa iyyaaka nasta'een
Ihdinas siraatal mustaqeem
Siraatal ladheena an 'amta' alaihim
Ghairil maghduubi' alaihim
waladaaleen
Sadaglaho Al3aatheem

In the name of God, the infinitely Compassionate and Merciful.
Praise be to God, Lord of all the worlds.
The Compassionate, the Merciful. Ruler on the Day of Reckoning.
You alone do we worship, and You alone do we ask for help.
Guide us on the straight path,the path of those who have received your grace;
not the path of those who have brought down wrath, nor of those who wander astray.
Amen.

Translated by Kabir Helminski

May allah be with them in this world and the next. May there suffering be eased and thier wounds be balmed.

New Year

2008-12-31T21:23:00.002-05:00

New Year

ahem..

resolutions...

ah...

hmmm**giving it some serious well thought thoughts:p**

Blooooooooooooooody none!!!!!!!! Woooooooooooooohoooooooooooo.

Resolutions are overrated

besides lily has a commitment problem

I had some great times last year, and some really shitty shitty times. But hey! C'est la vie oui?
Que peux-tu faire?

I know this is what is gonna happen;

--Im going to laugh till it hurts
--Gonna keep talking to random people
--Keep complaining about my lack of working out
--Goonna do something totally out of character, and flamboyant
--Gonna bitch and moan about school and love every damn minute of it
--Im going to feel frustrated
--Im going to be hurt
--Im going to fall heads over heels for inate object (this year it was my lab work:P)
--Im gonna dance in random places
--Im gonna keep arguing with myself in public..outloud
--Im going to smile and cry (sometimes at the same time:P)
--Challenge myself
--Im gonna live life, cause if anything 2008 taught me anything is that life can be whatever you want it. Dont make it wait too long for you;)

all in all, not gonna change a damn thing. cause I got a system and I got my own baby, yes I do;P

2009 give me your best shot cher;)

HAPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVELIESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Live, laugh, sing (only if u can:P) Take it off your chest give it away by a blow of a kiss and just let go.

xoxo

Survival /Random

2008-12-30T21:28:00.002-05:00

**hugs** I misssed you my dear dear blog who has been neglected**sloppy kiss**

So people I SURVIVED woooooooooooohoooooooo for me. Got my marks back, its just that one class **shakes an angry fist** friggin hell. Oh well

but
but

Remeber Java?? The class that was from hell??? The one that I burned the notes and almost got arrested (I got a stern talking too from a miskeen old cop;))

yea

THAT class. Welll its OVER SOOOOOOOOOOOOO OVER..I was soooooo happy!! I was never so happy to finish a class in my life!!!

WORST experiance of my university career..seriously.. Well.. That and biology **shudders, feels sick**

but

C'EST FIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yea..What else?

Writing my thesis right now..no..wait...thats a lie.. I am reading for my thesis right now..And yes the intro is due in the end of next and no I dont have it done..-------I know I know..I like pain..leave me the fuck alone:P

all im thinking is one semster people..say ti with me my loves..ONE...MORE...SEMSTER...I can do this I can I can..I just need to remeber that staring blankly into space is not going to help:P

Grandma out of the hospital, alhumdualla.Shes still not 100% but alhumdulla.

Dudes, I need to say so much but Im too scatterminded..ooooooooooffftt. Ok I will go blog hopping now and then we talk later

alright my lovilies
au revior

Image

2008-11-05T13:42:00.002-05:00

Yoga pant clad leg rocks agitatedly as the other is perched on the bed. Neckline of oversized shirt being knawed on by a mouth that surrounded by chapped lips. Blooodshot scared doe eyes compliment the dark black circles under them. Hair in wild disarray around the face that is in clear panic mode and is of need of a wash. Nails bitten down to nothingness tap out hurridely at the laptop. Surrounded by papers, coffee mugs, books, cloths and other undistinguishable things she sits between panic/fear/disdain/and bordering uncaring.

-gender and crime presentation
-programming test
-social work final paper
-gender and crime final paper
-programming assignment
-final for addictions
-final for programming
-final for social work
-introduction and procedure for thesis
-data collection for thesis
-redoing the experiment
-two jobs
-grandma still in hospital

= time alloted five weeks

=time before melt down? sooon
System.out.println("i want to die....");

Undressed--Update

2008-10-31T15:41:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the ignoration:P, was busy being kicked in the ass by life..oh well lets get it rolling;)

-HAD THE FIRST SNOWFALLL..wooooooooooooooooooopi! all melted now..my snowman went buh bye..

-weird messed up weather...get your snow plows one night, take out your umbrellas the next oh and then take out your mini dresses the next..wow,,thats so me when Im deciding my coffee

-I hate hospitals

-I fuckin hate doctors, hate hate..heartless fuckin pricks

-kareem salama..oh wow.. woooow

-Happy halloween!! Going as phantom of the opera;)

-yogurt parfaits..mmm

-school..shit oh shit shit..ooooooooooooooooffftttttt

- an "Image" post coming up while I perpare for my slow and painful death

-restless

-cranky

-not impressed

-if one more person calls me "pretty" or "bubbly" Im gonna kill em

-candy apples..mmmmmmmmmmmm

-greeting cards..oooooooffftt

-I want a sweater..

IN LOVE!!!!

2008-10-19T21:16:00.000-04:00

oh god I want him!!!!*lick lick**

**droool**

Bikram

2008-10-17T10:03:00.002-04:00

Oh yea.I like it hot.

WhAt THE F#$@!?!?!?!?

2008-10-15T12:08:00.003-04:00

get out...

seriously...

get the fuck out...

HARPER?!?!?!

AGAIN?!?!?!

what the hell??? was everyone drunk yesterday?!?!

why the fuck would you want a conservative goverement who took surplus and made huge deficiet??? Who is a minority goverement yet the most EXEPENSIVE..

are you people insane???

really??
really??

I mean dont get me wrong, Dion is not exactly a beacon of hope here..but heeeeeeeeeeloooooooooooooooooooooooooo

harper?!?!?!**kicks a soild object**

*sobs* we are becoming american..next thing you know we are kicking out the immigrants(me me me me ) and listening to country music(audio terrorism)

really..

next time you people vote..READ k? k

I am disappointed in you canucks

really
I am
you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

UPDATE!!!!

harper still in goverment infortunatly
but
but
JUSTIN TRUDEAU GETS A SEAT IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**does the boogy**
Background

Father was the iconic Pierre Trudeau, introduced the charter of rights, was hip and cool and showed Canada that multiculturalism was a national pride

JUSTIN TRUDEAU OF PRIME MINSTER..--in ten years:P

oh btw.

I met him!! And I have a pic with him with me trying to tear his arm out of his sockets and take them home with me..;)

Im still upset though, I need to move to Papineau ...

a5555555a ya galbi!!!

2008-10-13T14:40:00.002-04:00

**shudders** this is what Im talking about.

Garou's voice=liquid sex..

edit..ahem I think this is the second time i post this..oh well..still hot hot hot hot. I want to see him in concert**fans herself**

PiCs UpDaTE!!!

2008-10-11T21:51:00.011-04:00

**dirty look** ladies and gents and those still undecided..this..is..the..oc...transpo..bastard abuses me emotionally and physically..and i take it:P

my house!**iwish:P*

Canadian geese..EVIL EVIL EVIL...-_-

Job number one..

I shudder whenever we are close..oh dear timmies how I heart thee.. (p.s. for the non canuks. this is our drug dealer..coffee place:P)

and would you look at that...-_- we have no crime **sarcastic**Our boys in blue are doing their part on up holding a sterotype..cops and donuts;)

Pretty campus eh? On my way to my lab

my socks are pleased to meet you too..

my lover..bridgehead..the staff now know me by name;) sad i tell ya..

proof that i am the bestest oldest sister EVER...there goes my two paycheques..and its pink of all colours..ugh

stay sexhy loveliess*;

Frat Boys

2008-10-09T23:20:00.002-04:00

woooooooohoooooooooooo**fans herself** GOD BLESS THE HIGHERING SOCIETY for the security in malls..you guys have outdone yourselves..

really

I owe you

where the hell do you make these guys?!?!?!?
**drools**

hot+dumb as shit+incredibly useless+shamelessly subjective+shamelessly shameless+shallow+stuck up+arms fitting in shirts like sin+pretending to be smart+yummies

= lily's type of dude;)

at work..
s.g=secuirty guard, at least 6 ft, fit, a bit on the skinny side for my taste, dark hair dark eyes two dimples!!mmmmmmm
o.c= old couple

lily=[leaning against the counter discussing politics with an old couple using her hands widly]
s.g=[strutts in the shop, walks up to the counter, hands me an envlope looking all serious and shit]
lily=[doesnt even glance at him and continues her debate about the lack of liberal ideals in the liberal party while tearing up the envelope]
s.g.="no dont open it!you need to give that to your manager'
lily=[glances at him]"sure thing suga'[continues talking to o.c and begins ringing up thier purchases]
s.g.=[frowns] 'you need to give to her now'
lily=[hands the o.c thier purchases and bids them adieu then turns to s.g]'sure thing suga, now can i help you with anything else?'
s.g=[getting clearly pissed]'can you please give it to her now???'
lily=[glances around the store for customers] 'hun its just an invitation to a charity thing, I will give it to her when she comes back from break'
s.g=[turning red] 'you could have said something'
lily=[absently smiling]'said something about what suga?'
s.g.=[leaves with a huff]

so i find out this hunk, went and told my manager that she just hired an idoit. She went on and told him that I was too smart thus socailly awkward...^-^ hahahahahahaha I am going to play with him some more this weekend and update you peoples

keep it hot dahlings

Sighs..

2008-10-07T09:45:00.002-04:00

Are there any men like this now?!?! I demand one manufactured immediately!!

Critiera

-confident,self assured, comfortable in being them (no matter how wacky:P)

-not intimitaded by strong women, respects her mind and body:P

-quirky, and smart

**hint hint**christmas present:P

cranky

2008-10-05T17:54:00.000-04:00

...so i took a nap..all better now

ibi apple juice and crackers with cheese.

messed up

2008-10-03T20:27:00.002-04:00

I wandered around for hours, in heels nonetheless, not talking not smiling not really look at or for anything. I felt lost, so utterly lost. I kept staring blankly and stopping randomly on the street.It was freezing today my bag was heavey my feet hurt my nose was frozen and my eyes were watering, adding insult to injury I had my period, I learned that I am behind all my classes and didn't even start my thesis..But all that aside, I found out that the closest people to me didnt know me. Who I was, what I am, what I do or how I act. That I am nothing but a snobby, snotty, spoiled, self absorbed bitch. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that? I mean I know my faults, by god, I do, but really?

to say the least..not a good day, week or month..

I want to just walk away..I dont want to compulsively try to fix everything, I want to disappear. I don't want to care.. I want to have a breaking point, where I explode and let it all out. I don't want to be so logical and practical. I want to just be free.

make it stop..

Laish chethy?!?!?!

2008-09-29T22:41:00.002-04:00

see post on October 16 2007 for a similar rant

agian really??? as if! What the fuckin hell?!?!? friiggggin hell man..How difficult is it to see the damn moon???aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

thats it

I am writting a letter!

I am sick and tired I tell ya ..having to explain to myself and the ignorant gin and vodka soaked dudes in my lab.

I
WANT
IT
TO BE
EID
NOW..
friggin hell...

I am upset...I dislike this..Despise it..abhor it..detest it..

ooooooooooooooofffftttttt**stomps her foot**

EVERYONE is breaking thier fast...Whhhhhhhhyyyyy do we always have a day behind everyone?!?!

THAT IS IT!

Next year I am fasting 28 days..Thats it..I will show them

**snifs**

bas ibi my morning coffee

is that so much to ask?

**sobs**

eid kum mubarak u jackasses who get to break thier fast...

Buses

2008-09-29T02:57:00.002-04:00

Scene 1
Jumps off one bus, sprints down the bus terminal (in the cutest heels ever), barely missing some stray child( someone put him in a barn where he belongs, please). Grabs a free newspaper, flashes a charming smile to the news paper dude or dudette (I can never tell). Charges up two flights of stairs waves at the bus which doesnt stop and keeps on its merry way. She stands cursing under her breath which comes out laboriously, first in arabic then english. Abya fluttering around shala perched only by gravity, she shoves her Katherine Hephburn glasses back on her slightly crooked pert nose and continues her muttering as she adjusts her mammoth arm bag weighing three ton to balance on one of her feet as she reapplies her lipgloss while scanning the coming buses.

Scene 2
One shoe under her arm, the other shoved on her foot, shala waving like a flag around her head. Blazer half way on, tie undone, buttons misbuttoned, bag hanging askewed on her arm with random contents sticking out. She runs down six flights of stairs while trying to rebutton her shirt, and ties her shala. Runs down the street then across ducking behind a garbage truck and waves merrily at an angry car horn which barely missed her figure as she wrestled her way through bodies to get on the bus. Once on she gets dressed much to the amusment of the passengers, and begins to put on her make up, intiating help from an old italian grandfather who proceeds on telling her the story of his life.

Scene 3

She pushes through a herd of people, makes it on to the covetted univeristy bound bus, sandwiched between two people. Unfortunaltly one didnt have any personal hygine. She thinks nothing of leaning closer to the cutie freshly smelling freshmen who becomes flustered. Smiling up flirtatiously he turns around slightly with a blush creeping on his cheeks. Chuckling under her breath she reaches into her bag and grabs her ringing phone keeping her eye on the boy. Assuring her prof that no she didnt forget to freeze the fat at minus 80 degrees and yes she had perpard the sucrose as he instructed and that yes she was on her way to learn how to gel slides. A seat freed up and instead of taking it, the boy gestures her. Smiling she touches his arms and says thanks handsome. He stands rooted for the rest of the bus trip during which she rumpages through her bag for her lipgloss (chapped lips...) and keeps handing him stuff to hold while she digs through her bag.

I now have a phd in bus manipulations..;)My entire neighbourhood knows my antics, the bus drivers now wait for me in the morning..I am always running late for the bus..God Bless the OC transpo.Bastards that I depend on.

Experimental Fuck Up

2008-09-21T00:37:00.003-04:00

-------------you are forwarned..this is a mad totally unramadan worthy post..read at your discretion..if you do not like foul language or are opposed to animal experimentation..Plz contact your nearest therapist or jump off a bridge..have a great day.

So yea..Remeber that thesis project that I was totally psyched about? Well, I wasted 7 hours a day for 14 days in a hot stuffy lab that is full of people who love nothing more then to gossip about me for being different..

So the fuck what;
I dont fuckin drink
I dont fuck every male or female I see
I dont enjoy talking about fuckin
I am the only one in the entire building that is not white and a muslim

get over your fuckin selves

Ilmuhim, back to my project.

So yea we (my prof and myself) decided that we were going to use a couple of paradims. Stress, fat accumulation, food intake with regular chow, food intake with a high fat diet that was adminstered right after the stress for a duration of two hours. He decided on a social stressor..Which I hate. It basically consists of putting my mice (they are GHSR-strain) in with another strain of mice (CD-1's) that are known to be mean mother fuckers..They are to remain in the bully cage for ten minutes. After which the high fat diet is adminstered and I give two hours to lick thier wounds and eat.

The GHSR's are genetically modified, some of them have the gene that expresses the hormone grehlin removed (they are called the gherlin knockouts) and the others are just the regular dudes, so just the wild types. Seeing they are gentically modified mice, we breed them ourselves and they require some time before they are fit to enter any experimental trials. My prof is the only dude who does this genetic breeding bussiness.Basically these little buggers are hard to get.

Ilmuhim, what happened was after we kill the mice, the blood is extracted and the plasma is seperated so we have access to the white blood cells. Some of the samples did not seperate quite as well as the others..but that was expected, you always get a couple fucked up ones.

Ilmuhim, yoou then pipet the white blood cells into little tubes and run them through a bioessay. This gives us the cortisol level that we are looking for..

but

guess what??

the cortisol levels were WHACK..not whack as in cool or fascinating..oh no..whack as in totally and utterly FUCKED UP. so yea.. We are going to run them agian, but Im not going to hold my breath..it means I wont have enough to run the ghrelin kit...oooooooooofffttttttt....I need to replicate the study, which means spending more time in the stuffy lab with the atmosphere of a sterotypical high school and having to balance that with full time school, my thesis paper, grad school applications, two jobs, volunteer work and the shit I deal with at home..

fuckin terrific...sounds like a swell time..Im going skydiving in novemeber..Maybe I will jump and not land..

I need to punch something..The dumb track was closed..I couldnt even go for a run..I need some dairy queen or coffee..**sighs**

feelings..ew

2008-09-16T00:08:00.002-04:00

Feeling about ;

school: CRAP, SHIT..aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhaa everything is in the air..not good not good at all

home: **sighs, tears at her hair** yea pretty much the the same shit

music: lovin viva la vida by coldplay, and the youtube singer group boyce avenue

movies: I want to watch a moooooooooovie so bad..I havent seen one in ages and ages

food: I want sushi..now..I want ramadan to end ..now

drinks: oh god I could MURDER for coffee..just one cup

addictions: all this crap makes me itch for a smoke..just one..I swear just one

smells: dior posion, chanel No.5, YSL Elle, gucci by gucci and jasmine

tastes: french vanilla, watermellon

make up: purple. mauve, red

friends: ugh..fuckin hell.

relatives: no big loss. I didnt like them anyway

ramadan: finsh up already ^_^

extermities: itchy ..damn unkown alergies..

self: lost just completely and utterly lost

You know...

2008-09-14T00:09:00.002-04:00

You Know You're Canadian When:

You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."--> up in here we love our homo's thank you very much

You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." -->duh

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars -->who the hell calls them candy bars?? so unsexy

You drink pop, not soda. --> soda is a totally different drink people

You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.

You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars. -->and you mention that smoking is not permitted in any public place and is frowned upon;)

You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. -->damn good fish too

You drive on a highway, not a freeway. -->417 baby

You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. --> I am a millionaire with canadian tire money

You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. -->**jumps up and down**

You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians. -->SUCKERS!!!

You know that a Canadian was the C.E.O. of American Airlines from 1998-2003 --> and now ironically the hudson bay company is owned by the americans..

You know what a touque is. --> sexy hats baby sexy hats

You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee". --> Damn right..Dumb Americans..Don't even know their alphabets

You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. --> these ones still confuse me..I dont see the connection between a blonde and drunk moose..I just dont..sorry

You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." -->Need to go visit there..

You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada." --> its my mozart;)

"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?" -->Totally

Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some. -->keep me satisfied love

There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food. --> unless you count umm beer and um bacon oh and poutine;)

You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either. -->Hey HEY, I like the quebecors..Love thier racist discrimanatory asses to pieces..They make the best boys in tight shirts for my viewing pleasure;)

Everything is labelled in English and French. -->always read the french label...Makes shopping more fun when your butchering a language..outloud..lol!

You spell "colour" and "favourite" with "ou" no just "o" because you know thats stupid--> I need a spell checker thats Canadian people

------------------
My thoughts:

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack .
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
I speak my native language and english and french (somewhat) and anyother language that my convience store owner speaks.
Canada is the second largest landmass and the first nation of hockey and yummilcious hockey players ;)
I'm too nice to call you an ass in your face, but I will raise my eyebrow at you.
'Eh' should be in the dictionary..the most useful word evvver
We like our man and women mixed naked, and free to sleep with whomever floats thier boat;).
A toque is a sexy hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed'.
Our current prime minister is the current presidents bitch
We shove our national problems on poverty, indegiounous people and the immigrants under a rug.
We are the worse spatial people eeverrr..Hence we will walk you to where you need to be
Winter is god's favourite season;)
Timmies is our spirtual beacon

A continuation to my you know you are iraqi when blog:P

Updaties!!!!

2008-09-06T23:49:00.002-04:00

First of all ***boooty dance** RAMADAN KAREEEEEEM..dan dan dan dandaaa Wannasaaa love ramadan love love love.

Second of all my thesis experiment is done..at least part one of it. I need to replicate it..I will outline it sooner or later..maybe maybe not.

Third of all, CLASSES STARTED!!! wananasaa..i know i know..I am a nerd. Oh well here are my courses (I knooooww ur dieing to know them:P)

Java Programming: yawn yawn snore snore..looks riveting..**sighs* helloo course who shall knock me out of deans list and any hopes of grad school....
---------a bit melodramatic eh? ah well what can one do with ones self.

Gender and Crime: oh cool cool cool. We have a mock parole hearing!! had the first class..love it...lot of work..oh well c'est la vie

Addictions: heard the prof was a hottie;) I will get back to you about this one..I tend to learn very will with a mouth watering prof. so cross ur fingers:P

Social work for youth and childern: I needed an elective:P dont judge me. Sounds ahem lovely.. I love childern..:P not

Thesis: the paper from hell. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh stress stress stress..

So yea..Classes plus volunteering, advocating and working..Dont ask..I dont even know why I do this to myself k?

Offcially Coool

2008-08-24T13:09:00.002-04:00

So yea I succumbed too socail pressure. I had been resisting now for three years. But the peer-pressure was too much. Everyone has done it. It is the IT thing to do. And we all know how swayable and impressionable I am. So I succumbed. I did I did. Im not proud of the fact..But hey..As I always say live without regrets..Shit happens..Mistakes mold you as a person..FACEBOOK. here I come:P. I am still trying to get the hang of it..So fuckin confusing..I refuse to have 300 'friends'. thats just ridiculous. Yea you heard me thats silly..Who the hell has 300 friends?? Thats just weird and wrong and all sorts of crazies. Ilmuhim I have it now..And no I will not be adding anyone on..I refuse to have my list go beyond ten..Maybe twenty..with a couple of groups..;P

An Encounter With Mr.Z

2008-08-19T22:53:00.005-04:00

Sun drenched, stretching indulgently on the green banks of the canal she cracks open an eye while trying to cover half a yawn. There poised back slightly arched, legs dangling in unsanitary water, head turned west when she saw him. Just there. Glistening dark brown hair in wild disarray, lower limbs in swimming trunks that have the binary numbers printed in sequence. While the upper body was blissfully naked. Shoulders and arms sculpted to perfection swayed slightly while his abs rippled as he made is slow sensual progression towards her. Hanging around his neck were keys on a key chain that identified him as a biometric grad student.
Strawberry lip gloss tinted mouth curves into a sly smile, resting her lounging body now on her elbows, she takes off her Sophia Loren sunglasses, angling her head flirtatiously. Lowering himself on his knees, tremulous green eyes aligned themselves with her dark brown ones. Oh yummy just yummy.

"Do you mind? You stink, why do you insist on coming to bother me when you smell terrible?"

Note: Z. I love you I do..lol..In my own twisted way.Not everyone is attracted to your fine ass, and it is fine. Get over yourself. And yes I do objectify you..Why wouldn't when you flaunt your goods and brains? I am not responsible for my actions:P I accept your challenge for the run. May the best smelling person win!

Bored..

2008-08-10T02:40:00.003-04:00

Stole a tag..Found it on my computer so its mine now:P Needed something to do..Why am I justifying my actions to you people?!?!:P

BEST:

1. Male friend: more then one.
2. Female friend: same as above
3. Vacation: backpacking through a forigen country

WORST:

1. Time of day: 11 at night..I get cranky its past my bed time
2. Day of the week: none
3. Color crayon: love'em all..expect pink..Yeah thats probably the worst crayon ever

LAST:

1. Person you talked to that goes/went to your school: anwaro
2. Talked to on the phone: Jassies
3. Text: Same jassies
4. Person who Instant Messaged: aha umm..hmmm..A whole bunch:P I talk on msn by bulk:P

TODAY:

1. What are you doing now: not sleeping
2. Wearing: men pj's in navy

TOMORROW:

1. Is: Sunday
2. Got any plans: school,lab, friend social work, shopping, reading
3. Goal: avoid being abducted by aliens
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: I will be running on no sleep

FAVORITE:

1. Number: 3
2. Song: whole bunch..I kissed a girl, mozarts third, the beatles
3. Color: black, neon green

CURRENTLY:

1. Missing Someone: nah
2. Mood: content/cranky
3. Wanting: a treadmill

TRUE/FALSE:

I am a cuddler: FALSE ew. I have a bubble
I am a morning person: TRUE Oh yea!
I am a perfectionist: TRUE mmhmm depends
I am an only child: FALSE **sighs** I wish
I am currently in my pajamas: TRUE Just said that
I am currently pregnant: FALSE yea..noo
I am currently suffering from a broken heart: FALSE.nope..dont have one of those
I am left handed: FALSE
I am addicted to Blogging: FALSE
I am online 24/7: FALSE
I am very shy around the opposite gender: FALSE what other gender?
I can be paranoid at times: FALSE
I currently have a crush on someone: FALSE I dont do crushes
I currently regret something that I have done: FALSE I never regret.
I enjoy country music: FALSEew.."audio terriorism:P"
I enjoy smoothies: TRUE
I enjoy talking on the phone: FALSE hate phones
I have a hard time paying attention at school/work: TRUE I have a hard time paying attention to anything
I have a hidden talent: FALSE talentless is my middle name
I have a lot to learn: TRUE sure do
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal: FALSE too boring for secrets

ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone? I dont get angry
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper? The french one and the turkish iraqi one
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? no..I dont express emotions
4. Ever had something thrown at you? I am arab..My family is arab..So yea:P
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell and scream? umm neither? I dont yell I dont scream and I dont stare..I walk away come back and then systematically destory the person infront of me by talking in a monotone voice detailing the many flaws in there character..Im sick:P

EXCITEMENT

1. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party for you? Not that I remeber
2. Are you easily excited? no
3. What are you most excited about? adventure
4. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought? TUTION FEE'S PAID OFFF YAAAAA..I know sad.
5. If you could have anything right now what would it be? ibi smoothie:P

1.Sex before marriage? muslim. Can't happen. Besides this needs two people:P
2. Gay Marriage? watever floats your boat sugar.
3. Lower the Drinking age? Drinking destorys the liver.
4. Recycling? DAMN YES!! THE EARTH IS DIEING LETS SAVE IT!! Huge supporter of this..I know its strange
DREAMS

1. What was your latest dream? no sleepy no dreamy
2. Have any of your dreams come true? no dreams so I dont know
3. What was the weirdest dream you've ever had? ummmm falling off a cliff in a wedding dress? that was my husband in the dream..lool

PERSONAL

1. Straight, Gay, Bi? stright..but everyone I think is a little bi no?
2. Do you have a bf/gf? nope.
3. Do you have a crush? one per minute. Im fickle
4.How many beds did you lay in yesterday? um mine?
5.What color shirt are you wearing? pj's whats wrong with this?
6.Name one thing that you do everyday? talk to myself
7.What color are your walls? eggshell white
8.How much cash do you have on you right now? 20 bucks 9.I can't wait till...? APRIL!!!
10.When was the last time you saw your dad? aha six months ago? oh no eight..
11.What did you have for dinner last night? ummm.. oh shrimp and it was lunch:P I dont do dinner
12.Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? my moms mini skirt!
13.What website(s) do you visit the most during the day? the university email account
14.Does anything hurt on your body right now? my nose itches

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Have you ever failed a class? oh yea..
2. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? after every exam:P
3. Have you ever not taken a shower for 3 days? sure:P
4. Have you ever slept with a night light? no, I like the dark
5. Have you ever danced in the rain? all the time sugar
6. Have you ever lied? cant. I need lessons
7. Have you ever had contacts? yea
8. Have you ever tripped over something stupid? I trip over nothing I swear
PICK ONE:

1. Samosa, Pakora, Kebab: Samosa
2. Bollywood, Lollywood, Hollywood: whats a lollywood?
3. Love marriage, Arranged marriage: marriage is a dieing institution
4. Honeymoon, no moon: No moon? Huh ?? Of course honeymoon!
5. How many kids would u like 1,2, 3+: none
6. Kulfi, Ice cream: Ice cream
7. Shah ruk khan, Orlando Bloom: both
8. Meenar-e-Pakistan, Eiffel Tower: havent been to either so both
9. Lahore, Khi, Islambad: where is Khi?

still not sleepy...dude..

Youth Coordinator For Multicultural Girls

2008-08-03T19:41:00.003-04:00

Lily-//demonstrating back flips in the water//
Girl 1-' do we have to do that? I hate the water'
Girl 2- 'why are you in the pool then?'
Girl 1- 'cause, everyone is in the pool'
Lily- 'you don't have to do back flips if you don't want to. You can just swim, how about we do laps together?'
Girl 1- ' do we have to do laps? Can't be just float?'
Girl 2- 'Why don't you swim? Its a swimming pool?'
Girl 1- ' mind your own business, I can do what I want, you swim!'
Girl 2- 'I swear your such a..'
Lily- 'ladies'//swims to stand in between them// 'Girl 1 it is a fitness camp you should be at least moving try to swim k? Girl 2 your enthusiasm is terrific buts lets remember that not all of us want to be in the Olympics k? So let's break it up and have some fun'
Girl 1-//grunts// ' but I want to float, why can't I float?'
Girl 2-//rolls her eyes says something obscene in Spanish ---it sounded obscene-- swims away expertly//
Girl 1-//looking at me with her big green slightly reddish eyes//'shes so mean'
Lily-//sighs, mumbles something about not being cut out for this//' hun no she isn't lets just swim together k?'.

Really?? Realllly?? This is what I have been reduced to??? A social worker/psychologist/coach for these girls??? whhhhhy??

yes ladies an gents, for the past couple of weeks, I have been dealing with tween and teen "issues" as part of my stint as a youth coordinator for a fitness camp program thingy.. I love it, I love the outings the energy the movement everything..I just need to find a way to keep the girls mouths shout..duct tape maybe?---Any ideas?

Friendships/Relationships/ugh

2008-08-02T12:50:00.002-04:00

**sighs**

I confess, I am not always the easiest person to be around. I can get ditzy, self absorbant, strange (mumble to myself all the time) and I can appear to be callous. Although I pride myself on being a good listener (I am a psychology major after all) I tend to underrate my friends problems, Its not that I think they're problems are insignificant, but at times I feel if you make an emotional situation more emotional its terrible. But that is not completely true, what is really is my lack of emotional output. While I am incredibly loyal, I run from emotional situations. I can't handle them, I don't cry, I don't scream, I don't throw tantrums. I hate it, I dont know how to deal with things like that.

Over the years however, my group of friends (they are plenty and on a specturm) have all seemed to accoustom themselves to my lack of support in emotional issues. If you need a problem solved rationally, if you need to rant, if you need someone to kick you in the butt and keep you on track,if you want someone just to listen and nod you come to me. If you want some one to sympathize to hold your hand to cry with you to give you a hug, stay away. I personally don't understand why I do that, its not that I don't care. On the contrary I am very much emotionally invested in my friendships.Yet I am always put in a category of the callous and unfeeling. I get branded as being controlling and judgemental.

Although I have never been in a relationship ( shocking I know, but are you really suprised?) I think that breaking up with a friend is much harder then breaking up with a lover. I hate playing coy games, I dont do it, I don't know how to do it. I think at times where saying nothing is the best course of action, my tongue betrays me and says things that further cement me in the unfeeling category.

I understand that people grow apart, that people come and go. More so then alot of people, I have never stayed long enough in a part the world or country to claim stability and life long friends. But over the years, I have learned that if you open you mind your heart and yourself to the world people that will never cease to amaze you will find themselves at your door step. While the traditional would brand my array of friendships as unconventional, and uncharacterstic for a woman of arabic and muslim traditions. I view them as a testment to my love of people and adventure. While I have kept many friendships, I have managed to alienate just as many.

Movie Review

2008-07-30T21:11:00.002-04:00

Some new ones some old ones..I am becoming a movie junkie..I hate it..I love it..I am addicted..No I'm not..Just a little..No..I can stop whenever I want..Doooonnnnt judge me:P

Wanted--oh dear god..Angelina**drool** James McAvoy**drool**--Sci Fi..Guns, hot cars, hot cast, twisted story..love love love 8.5/10

Batman--**fans herself** I almost DIED in this movie..Love love love. Awesome story, great acting..Hands down a favorite. 9.5/10

Kung Fu Panda--he reminds of my belly, saw it at the Imax..I enjoyed it more then my 8 year old sis:P 8/10

Iron Man--oooooooooooooooooooh yea robert downey junior baby!!! Brains, looks, cockiness, corkiness aaahh perfection.. Watched this one twice already;)9.5/10

Get Smart--I was really paying attention to the clothing in this one..Loved the Chanel coats..Soooo fuckin hott. Granted Ann HAthway is a looker..so yea..Watch this one if u are getting in on discount..6.5/10

Hancock--**sighs** my baby..Will Smith..Great job, bubbly movie, typical blockbuster summer movie..Get popcorn and careful not to choke when u get a glimpse of willies butt!! (ladies and gents well worth ur 12 bucks that one scene;))7/10

Indian Jones--snore snore..Horrible writing..Shia Leabouf was amazing though..Wait for it on dvd if you need to see it.5/10

The Incredible Hulk--love love love. Edward Norton**drools** was terrific in this one. I liked it. Watch it on the big screen..Great action sequences..8/10

The Chronicles of Narina: Prince Caspian--I hadnt seen the first one..But damn the prince was fiiine. Other wise I was lost story wise..Read the books or watch at least the first movie..7/10

The Love Guru--speaking as an objective third person..I hated it.:P Aside from the pimping the slut of hockey (the leafs) the entire movie I thought was vulgar. Some parts were great, most felt like a horny teenager flick. PASS ugh 3/10

Bungee Pics

2008-07-25T11:52:00.003-04:00

Ok Blogger is always such a bitch to me. FINALLY got these pics loaded as promised.
First one is me hanging upside down!
The second is me getting ready to jump backwards (I wouldn't jump forward..chicken shit:P)
The Third is during the jump!

Other random pics coming up along with updates if bitch blogger would cooperate.

UPDATE!!!

2008-06-14T20:10:00.002-04:00

omg..I completely forgot about you guys! Well, I completely forgot that I had a blog. lmao. Sorry sorry. Still alive, or barely. This is what I have been up to;
-Finished my dumb classes.. (alhumdualla it was all over all acceptable)-->4th year here I come.

-Got my nose pierced ;)
-Celebrated a b-day (I'm old...22...)
-Saw the Axis of Evil Comedy dudes!
-Went Ripriding!!
-And bungee jumping!!! It was fuckin amazing!!

I'm doing summer classes ..again.. I know..I suck.
In July;
-sky diving
-scuba diving
-10 k run for charity
-rock climbing
-white river rafting

I will post some of the bungee/ripride/axis of evil pics for you folks
Here is a video of my friend who was with us;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRnwRRNLPkg

good times man...good times

ReaAAding Weeekk Baby

2008-02-17T22:25:00.002-05:00

1)Stats assignment
2)Grammaire Francais
3)Journal Du Bord
4)Stats review
5)Algebra practice problems
6)2 Socioeco thought papers
7)Cholestrol presentation
8)Skating on the canal
9)Shopping
10)Skiiiinnnnng!!!!!
11)Moviessss
12)Girls night out
13)3 Dean Koontz &James Patterson waiting
14)trip to montreal!!

doable in one week? Im thinking HELLL YES..

Who the hell needs sleep!
enjoy yourselves my loveliess

UpDaTe!!!

2008-02-16T12:44:00.007-05:00

Hellooooo my loveliiiiesss

1)Busy Busy Busy, I have been studying studying none stop and alhumdulla it seems to pay off so far. But I need to work on it a bit more

2)Dealing with friggin family issues..Its never my issues its everyone elses issues never mine:P Im too boring to have issues

3)SPRING BREAK BAAAABBBY ok well we call it 'reading week' in canada but muwhahah..Should be fun. I will blog about this in a bit

4)I am still working on the outline for my thesis, Im thinking mice,high fat diet and cocaine;)

5)Im in love with the francaphone singers, theatre, cinema, and men:P

6) Happyyy Belated V-Day!! I forgot all about it till my cousin from kuwait texted me :P

7)I am content, overall. Shit happens, it always does, but I seem to be expecting it and I deal with it resonably well:P

8)Icy winds, heavey snow, slippery walk ways, wet boots, frozen nose and other body parts. I FUCKIN LOVEEE IT ALLLLL good to be home. For the past three winters since coming home, I marveled on how i lived without THIS for two years..criminal wallah.

9)Trip to kuwait this summer is offically off.Im taking a law,biol,math, and french class and I wont have time to breathe. Oh and doing my thesis:P. Inshalla next summer, i miss the desert..Sometimes..

10) have more time to blog hop. lots of reading to catch up on..That and sleep.

Garou

2008-02-13T12:48:00.003-05:00

Je suis fou au sujet de vous..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUXGVfmrEN4

**sighs**
mon beau

D.I.D

2008-02-06T06:57:00.000-05:00

DID=Disociative identity disorder(as outlined in the DSMV-IV-TR)
Multiple personality disoders: as outlined in hollywood;)

soooooooo yea, I wanna try out another 'creative' outlet. Rather then writing as well me, I will be writing as alter personalities of me! I knoooooow brilliant eh? :P nOt, I know a couple of bloggers have been doing it, I wonder if this will let me let go of any preconceptions or biasness I may have. I dont think I will be going too far off tangent on this, i.e. I will not try to project a newly immgrated chinese person, simply because I know nothing of the culture and nothing about the language. Besides me is to boring and anal and strightlaced to be intersting..So yea thats the plan..Wannaaasa. I think Im gonna start with Dear Diary type of entires! Ok I gotta I have a midterm in an hour:P

Curious isnt it?

2008-02-03T02:41:00.000-05:00

A gloomy piece of work, suits my current state of mind. Update u guys in a bit.

Curious isn't it?
How we are attracted to danger?
How we feel the need to know others pains?

Curious isnt it?
How we beleive that people change?
How those who deserve happiness dont get it?

Curious isnt it?
How human nature is animalistic?
How a child turns on its parents?

Curious isnt it?
How we crave the attentions of manipulators?
How we readily bite thhe hand the feeds us?

Curious isnt it?
How the word 'love' is taken so seriously?
How the word "I" is so popular?

Curious isnt it?
How the bastards and sluts get what they want?
How every knot we untangle causes another tangle?

Curious isnt it?
How we keep going?
How we walk around, seemling with a cause..Yet we are lost, and have yet to find purpose?

Expose Part 2

2008-01-09T03:34:00.000-05:00

21)I love to skate

22)I have a HUGE, INSATIABLE sweet tooth;)

23)not a fan of arabic music

24)Love black and white arabic and english movies.

25)Eclectic taste in music. Ranging from but not exclusice to Pachebal to one republic to t-pain to the fray

26)I hate coyness

27)I like numbers..sometimes:P

28)Addicted to soccer and hockey

29)Trying new things excite me challenge me and make me happy

30)Im the oldest

31)Indecisive for'what I want to be when I grow up' engineer? doctor? resreacher? professor? mechanic? ---I still dont know the answer:P

32)I cant live without rimmel extra lash mascara and the body shops cranberry lip gloss

33)I feel comfortable in heels and running shoes alike, in designer skirts or levi's.

34)My signature scent during exams is Dolce Gabbana classic

35)Love to run, cardio in general gives me such a buzz..All my dopamine neurons are fully active and make me happy oh so happy

36)I am social and make friends easily but I like and need my solitude

37)I cant write arabic, and my reading isnt much better

38)I love national geographic, and the discovery channel

39) I dont beleive in the institution of marriage

40)I drive myself harder then anyone else. I am my worst critic.

the begining of the end

2008-01-07T22:36:00.001-05:00

School started *gags* maaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbiiiiii oooooooofffttt. Why cant I just close my eyes and open them and be done? eh? huh? Ilmuhim these are my courses this semster..

Health Psych-this is a full year course so Im still chugging at it, but we have finished the neuro part, which btw was awsome, now im stuck with the dumb artsy fartsy stuff..OOOOOOOOOOffffff

French-Im gonna get it this semster, thats it, no more flirting with the hot spanish exchange student. Im gonna be a good student..No promises:P

Microbiology--yea..um..I dont like bio..I needed a bio. So yea..We will see..

Stats Analysis of Variance--YUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPEEEE its like x-mas all over agian!! This class is going to be insane work, but god so so so so intersting!!!

Linear Algebra--this is the second year one, I dont know why Im taking it..I need to seek professional help.ASAP

yea so.. thats what im doing..What are you guys doing? If you have no school dont talk to me:P

2008

2007-12-31T11:21:00.000-05:00

I havent learned anything remarkable or lifechanging in 2007, nothing tramatic, nothing overly exciting, nothing fascinating. Then agian my family life is as always riveting, however mine is as usual quite dull and pale in comparision.

No resolutions, gonna do what I always do, see the people I always see (plus the new ones I keep meeting), go to the same places I usually go too, act the same as I did before, laugh at the same things and just in general stay the same. Hey, its worked for the last 21 years why try and change it now?

Loosen up people, relax, enjoy, and smell the sweet air.

Happy New Year my lovelys

Expose Part 1

2007-12-29T02:11:00.000-05:00

Seeing that lots of bloggers have already embarked on this journey of exposing themselves to the world (shameless;)) I have decided to give it a shot. It would do me some good to be more open ;P. But unlike everyone else, I dont have the patience nor the attention span to list a 100 different nit picks about me. So I shall do this in parts. So without further adue, here it goes;

First 20

1)I love to read. Anything.Everything.

2)I'm a combination of both Nerd and Geek

3)I have huge mood swings. Depending on my day I can be either haughty or flirty..I have no in between

4) I value honesty more then anything in the world.

5) I am very blunt, strightforward.

6) I adore bags and shoes..But especailly bags. The bigger the better

7) I am self-effiecent, extermely independent

8) I always get what I want. Granted I fall on my face..ALOT. but I go after it 100%

9) I was born in kuwait, but orginially from Iraq and raised in Canada.

10) I consider myself Iraqi-Canadain.

11) I have a fond and at times loud apperication for beautiful things ;)

12) I love lattes and allllll coffee in general

13) I love to dance

14) Im not afraid of new things

15) I am logical. At times painfully so

16) I have never been in love.

17) I dont beleive in second chances..People rarely change

18) I can be seen as a pessimist

19) I am a realist to the core

20) I used to smoke.

ooooooooooooofff ugh. tough stuff:P

Survival/Charlie Wilsons War

2007-12-23T23:05:00.000-05:00

Exams are done...My experiments are done..My textbooks are in the processes of being burned..My lab coat is getting a washing out from blood and a variety of chemicals..

I have been shopping and eating out..EVERY SINGLE DAY..Its becoming stressful, but fun to be so free that you dont have to budget your time. Ironically I still get four hours of sleep:P

I went to watch Charlie Wilsons War and my friend and I were almost kicked out..We laughed..Loudly.. At the most inappropriate times. There was a part where the congressman was making a speech about america helping the afganis (giving them weapons and stuff to kill the evil soveits) then he goes and says something along the line that america is on the side of good..We couldnt stop laughing..then he says Alluh Akbar, coming from a right wing jesus loving person was just more enablment for our loud obnixious laughter. The movie was so full of irony that it was hilarous..Being a true story it was just that much more funny..Overall 4/5 stars..Tom Hanks is amazing along with that other guy who was in Capote,I dont feel like looking for his name. He was amazing just fuckin amazing.
I need to watch a few other movies and read a whole bunch of books. I need to murder whats left of my brain cells..wannnaaasaaa.

modern image

2007-11-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

Day bed littered with a laptop, papers, books and pamphelets describing parkinsons, beta plaques, PRESS sampling, the verb aller, stress and its relation to heart disease. Sitting cross legged surrounded by it all she has her now cropped above the shoulders hair loose in wild dark curls, nose runny and red from sneezing, dry spots cover her cheeks,lips shaped in a suprised O are chapped beyond vasline help, dark circles surround wide confused eyes. She wears a fuzzy red funnel nightie with grey yoga pants as she tries to type and read at the same time the connection between dementia and depression in older invidual and how society is influencing their aging.

And so it begins.

Facts

2007-11-22T20:23:00.000-05:00

1)NOT my semster
2)First snow, first hot chocolate of the year Nov.21
3)The kit runner--breathtaking, ironic, smart, simply "for you a thousand times over".
4)Drama drama drama , leave me out of it. I dont want to care
5)I just want to curl up in a ball with a good book and jar of peanut butter
6)people make a mess of thier lives..Pathetic
7)I have no patience for idoits that are both ignorant and arrogant
8)I need new boots and a new jacket..
9)I want to hibernate
10)The next four weeks---HELLL
11)I HATE ESSAYS..I HAVE 6 DUE IN 5 DAYS...**sobs**
I go find a hole to hide in..

You Feelin Me?

2007-11-14T22:10:00.000-05:00

shit list

2007-11-08T20:32:00.000-05:00

First of all

Fuck you. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.*smiles*..I know the person will never see this and Im too fuckin respectful to say it to them like that. but I caaan saaay it here so FUCK YOU muwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaa. I dooooooont like you and you know that. I told you that, just cause we are related you little bastard doesnt mean you rulllllle my life..i already have my parents..BAstard so go fuck yourself you fat inconsiderate, hypocritical,nauseating baaastaard... I piss you off dont I eh? muwhahahah What can I say..THANK THE LORD I DONT HAVE ANY OF YOUR FUCKING RIGHTEOUS GENES. mooooooooooooooooooooot haraaaaa ya dooooob heheheheheh..

ok thats out of the way

oh and a little confession, remeber how I quit smoking and all..Welll..Soon im gonna go off it soon..The running, the yoga, the nonfat sugarless cimmon dolce latte and the players light dont exactly mix well..

The trail..On my way to school

2007-10-29T23:22:00.000-04:00

My SECOND home..God bless coffee..

marching marching..Pretty eh?

more prettiness..

it looked better on the other side..BAs I didnt feel like commiting suicide that day.

btw.BLOGGER YOU'RE A BITCH..took me 6 hours to upload these and it wont let me upload the rest..Ok may be not like a full 6 hours..But still..God.

Animals Nickelback

2007-10-27T11:46:00.000-04:00

I, I'm driving black on black

Just got my license back

I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track

I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride

Because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight

I'm driving past your house while you were sneaking out

I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run

Your mom don't know that you were missing

She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I've been kissing

Screamin'

[CHORUS]

No, ain't never gonna quit

Ain't nothing wrong with it

Just acting like we're animals

No, no matter where we go

'Cause everybody knows

We're just a couple animals

So come on baby, get injust get in, just get in

Check out the trouble we're in

You're beside me on the seat

Got your hand between my knees

And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze

It's hard to steer when you're breathing in my ear

But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears

By now, no doubt that we were heading south

I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth

'Cause this was it, like flicking on a switch

It felt so good I almost drove into the ditch

So come on baby, get injust get in, just get in

Look at the trouble we're in

We were parked out by the tracks

We're sitting in the back

And we just started getting busy

When she whispered "what was that?"

The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are

And that was when she started screamin'

"That's my dad outside the car!"

Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition

Must have wound up on the floor while we were switching our positions

I guess they knew that she was missing

As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was kissing

Screamin'

hehehehehe I heart this song.

A Porposal

2007-10-21T15:29:00.000-04:00

him: "That jacket does nothing for you, you look terrible in it", saying offhandedly as he ran a hand through his raven black hair, "Here let me get you something suitable for that pretty face"

me: Baffled and a bit lost I looked around the dressing room hall to see if anyone heard my scolding, seeing that I am not the center of attention , much to my suprise,I headed back to my dressing room bewildered.

him: "Here you are sweetie, try this one, camo is just not for you stay with the deeper softer shades" the increasingly annoying voice said at dangrously close proximaty.

me: Turning around, "Listen you, I can pick out my clothes by myself thank you very much Mr.Oh my god Im so hot I have to be right" ---i know so mature

him: "oh she has fangs, I am hot and I am right always and of course you can silly but do all of us a favor and try this on", replied matterafactly his mouth (beautiful by the way) smiling and his blue eyes gleeful

me: totaly at lost I let him help me into a navy blue knee length tweed jacket

him: buttons the three side buttons and looks disapprovingly "It doesnt look right"

me: staring in the mirrior, "I like it but i like the cameo better so back off"

him: grabs a bright yellow scarf and drops it arround my neck and moves incredibly close.

me: fuckin bastard is in my bubble! then before I can be my classy loud self I sniffed. He had perry ellis on..oh my god... (for those who dont know i have a love affair with perry that is sinfully yummy). But still wayn ga3deen so doing the lilly thing I pushed him "ok pal back off if you want to walk and have babies in the future"

him: grins --oh god that smile is infectious-- "ok cutie take a look this is perfect if you dont buy it your commiting a crime"

me: rolling my eyes and muttering that no man alive should look that good smell that good and be allowed to walk around publicly. I turned to look into the mirror--ok I admit navy blue and bright canary yellow would totally be something i would buy and yea they looked nice on me..

him: hand fussying with my shala, "I like this nice beautiful material the beading is stunning a bit too much for the morning but girl you make it work" smiling at me through the mirror

me: moves away, "ok back off seriously I cant breath, I dont know why you thought I need help but thanks and go away now ok?" before leaving the dressing rooms I turned around, "And there is no such thing as too much but see this?" walking back towards and showing him the edge of my shala "these signs are not in random order they make a secret message" I say smiling up at him.

him: moves closer then necessary and concentrates at the shala "no way, what does it say?"

me: shakin my head laughing "not gonna tell you your not nice" walking away from the dressing I could hear him laughing.

I made a beeline to the shoe section, when Im stressed I get shoes, I found sensible boots for those long hours in the lab after picking up so other random stuff I waited in the line one arm heaped with cloths and a basket overflowing with a pair of boats and a couple of turtle necks, the other hand had john grishams the testment an inch away from my face.

him: "next"

me: glaring ,"you"

him: grinning "me"

me: I drop the stuff on the cash before realizing that I had listened to the advice he gave and was buying the blue jacket and the yellow scarf

him: rings them through, winks at me "good girl"

me: blushing like crazy, "I didnt want to be responsible for making you get a wrinkle and abusing society's eyes"

him: laughs for an hour "Hun you are a treat, and for that your getting 50% off your purchases" he whispered the last part

me: gleeful and suddenly forgetting I hated his guts "Oh you are awsome marry me"

him: laughs for another hour "I accept your offer as long as you are open to an open relationship with me an my partener"

go figure..Hot smart funny and gay..no luck..

What THE hell?!!?

2007-10-16T21:31:00.001-04:00

Just so you know;
--Half my family is sunni and half are shiite, so technincally I get bitching rights
--I am fully respectful of my sect, although they are apparently the most strict
--I dont think that bitching about religious issues is 'haram' we need to question stuff
--My parents and I are in different sects ..lmao..

Ilmuhim...

It is almost part of tradition for the sunni and shitte (two major religious islamic sects) to have two different eid days..I mean there is a reason why the religion is viewed as a joke by some people..We cant fuckin agree on the day the moon is sighted. I mean come on people work with me here..Let me elaborate on a minor yet somewhat significant detail k?

THERE IS ONE DAMN MOON.. ok habibati? I mean how difficult is it to see the moon on the same day as each other eh?
Bas we have been through this arguement already and established that both sides are stubbourn mules. Moving on..

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE SHITTE??! Seriously two different dates people?!?! As if Im not confused enough, as if I dont need another reason to bitch at something, as if I dont want an excuse to laugh at my own religon and sect..

shameful

my god..

Ill tell you guys the reason. One of the sects within the Shitte sect(yes and there are many) have a fatwa (I dont know if we call it a fatwa..Ilmuhim) that says that you need to see the moon in your area. So this particular sect saw the moon in Iraq ( a day later then the sunni sect as per tradition) but those people in that sect didnt see it here in ottawa for some reason.. Oh and you have to use the naked eye, no telescopes for those special special people ( I dont know if its the same for the other sects). Ilmuhim so no moon and apparently no eid till sunday (cause if you dont see it you need to finish 30 days) unless of course you bend the rules and cheat the system by 'traveling'.

Ridiculous just ridiculous..

and ya you guessed right..I am part of that sect..go fuckin figure.. Oh and I cheated the system ;) as if Im gonna fast when the rest of my family is stuffing their faces..Travel adventures coming later:P

oh and total random note I like french boys... thought you guys should know:P

EID MUBARAK ...finally

2007-10-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

First off Eid mubarak Eyamkooom Sa3eed yada yada yada...Ilmuhim coffee cofffee coffee.
--I havent been able to log into blogger lately
--my internet wont work lately
--I have some SERIOUS bitching to do about this sunnii shitte stuff
--and more bitching to do about shitte shitte thing
--and even more bitchin to do about exams, lack of sleep,school,changing programs ect..You get the picture

but i figured its eid..Live and let live..I will bitch later though..but until then..

--overdose on choclate and candy
--drown in coffee
--flirt shamelessly
--yell at family memebers
--spend your cash
--and have a fuckin blast

btw..Its raining men in ottawa..LAdies take your pick

Classes

2007-09-17T22:37:00.000-04:00

I have been back to the grind of it all since Sept.6 and I am looooooooooovin it baby!!! My brain cells are dancing from all the accumulated work, my head hurts, I dont get enough sleep, Im two weeks in and I am already behind, and I have pulled one all nighter but buuuuuuuuuuut I am DOING something.muwhahahahahahahaaa Yes ladies and gents lilly is a true sadist.. Ilmuhim my classses are going to be murder with work and sleepless nights but they are AWSOME classes. Heres my classes *stars in her eyes*

Abnormal Psych--wooooooooooohoooo I know enough people to be able to fit into all the disorders we are covering here..Sad part is that they are all part of my immediate family:P

French--oui oui oui non non oh la la la choclat:P This one is gonna be brutal..

Human NeuroPsychology--Brain anatomy and functions..Soo much memorization..But cool oh soo coool

Stats--Anoooooova multiple regression babyyyy wooooooooooooooooooopp!! I feel chills whenever I set up an anova..Im sick I know.. Dont we all love it:P

Health and Illness:Biosocial Interactions--drugs,illness,pathologies,neuroscience and its implications in a social context..I have died and gone to heaven:D

**rocks back and forth on her heels and grins stupidly** sheeeftoooow arent they amazing??

I think this is possibly the combination of choclate and coffee that I have been breaking my fast on soley for two days stright..Yea..It might be it..Most likely..

Raaaaaaaaaaaamdaaan Kareeem

2007-09-13T21:23:00.000-04:00

Ramadan woooooooooooohoooo..Wanaaasaaa I loooove ramadan and I dont know why! I am the crankiest person in the world ( I mean I am usually sarcastic cynical skeptic and mean but the first week I get double of my normal charming self) this is due to the lack of coffee intake..I usually drink 6 cups before noon so you can imagine my dilemma in ramadan..Im hoping this years first week of ramadan would be easier then last years..Since I quite smoking and I am doing yoga and all..Yoga by the way is fucking hard people..I am NOT stretchy person..My body doesnt BEND that way.. It hurts..My poor thighs I can FEEL them weeping... Ilmuhim I hope you guys have an amazing ramadan here are my goals...

--Music replaced with quraan ( Im trying I really am)
--Quran reading (this is going to be beyond stressful seeing that my arabic reading is ridiculous)
--Praying ON TIME.. ( I have arranged my classes so that I can pray at reasonable times)
--No swearing......................................(god help me my god I dont know if I can last for more then a day keep your fingers crossed people)

those are lofty goals but hey if I can train myself like I did with my running I will do great..inshalla inshalla inshalla inshallla..

Movie Mania

2007-09-08T15:05:00.000-04:00

So before school started I embarked on a noble mission. To murder my remaining feeble brain cells!! How can one go about such a mission? Simply stuff ones face with obsecene amounts of buttery popcorn sprinkled with peanut m&m's and brought down with an xtra large diet coke :D This feast is of course in the company of a hot 10 foot tall actors (in various stages of undress;)) stretched out on my beloved movie screen. Seeing that i have nothing to blog about that is intersting I have made a review list of the movies I went to see the past two weeks..

Hairspray--cute cute movie, although I am not a theatre junkie nor a musical junkie it wasnt terrible..Not a fan of Zac Efron the kid is nauseatingly cute..Not my type..Michelle Pfeifer is stunning..My god that woman gets hotter as she gets older.

Transformers--Loooove shia lebouf the boy is talented and his character in the movie was hilarous so cute. The chick he had the hots for looked like a victioria secert model. Overall big machines lots of crashes confusing fight scenes and a semi good plot---perfect summer blockbuster..

Knocked up--I honestly didnt see the big deal. Yea you had a few chuckles but seriously people it wasnt THAT good..I do like Heigle.

The Bourne Ultimatium--LOOOVED it..I mean aside from my baisesness of loving Matt Damon in anything at all, I thought this one was good. I know some people where complaining that he didnt hook up with whats her name the other agent. I was glad he didnt..mm mmm mmm speicemen of a man that one.

Superbad--ahem, I uh am not a fan of american pie and this was about as vulgar..Didnt like it.

Rush Hour 3--I could have wrote a better ending..Seriously where the hell can i get the emails of the screen writers?!?!? sheeesh..They runined such a good movie..I loved this one aside from the ending..It was stereotypical brash rude racist and discriminatory..LOVED IT..Jackie and tucker are the cutest pair.

Becoming Jane--romantic drama..It wasnt bad and I usually fall asleep in romance movie this one wasnt bad..Maybe cause I like jane austen.

Chuck And LArry--these two had soo much chemsitry I wanted them to just hook up already ;) I liked it thought it was funny light hearted and I acutally laughed out loud.

No Reservations--I like catherine zeta jones and that little girl. Cute movie but not a summer movie..More like a fall movie

Live Free Die Hard--eeeeeeeeeeeeeee brucey me love..Looooove him..Loved this one..Soo good.. He was as usual sarcastically cynically yummilicious:D Good storyline.

thats all I remeber..

Lazy Summer Days

2007-08-25T15:55:00.000-04:00

Ladies and Gents I have been vegitating as of late. Doing nothing other then watching movies, going out with freinds, cooking,window shopping(sad state of affiars when u dont have money:P),talking to people, reading, yada yada.. Im bored shitless..I have had nothing to study for the past week and I am going quit mad I tell ya.. I mean, I still do my lab work and thier are some awsome stuff on pubmed about the experiments we are doing and what I will be doing come september. But seriously, no stress..This is not normal..This sucks..I want school. Now speaking of school, I think I have mentioned before I was originally in aerospace engineering for a record breaking two weeks before I switched to the damn sciences. I have two years left, but I dont think i have it in me to continue in this feild. Dont get me wrong I love neroscience, it is some fascinating stuff and it is actually practical. But suddenly I am feeling that a Psych degree, even if it is the science stream and is concentrating in neroscience and minoring in satistics is not good enough. I am welling to go all the way withit..But since this little seed of doubt has been planted I have done the very lily thing to do..Rather then set and contimplate about it..I reapplied to engineering..I know I know I know, I dont do well in calculus and engineering is basicly four years of hell...But still..Maybe I will change my mind or they wont accpet me to begin with..Maybe im just too fuckin bored:P lol. Ilmuhim thats my life I want to take some pics so u guys, ottawa is stunning in the summer. Oh and I found this awsome little open french bakery with the world best breads,and cakes.omg the cakes..Ill take pics I promise..Im gonna go stuff my face and see who is cheating on who in the khaleeji series..
LAterz

UPdate

2007-08-08T18:41:00.001-04:00

Ok got a few minutes in between my crazy schedual that is tailored to a patient in the mental hospital, ilmuhim here is a few things that have been going on

--bombed a big ass midterm for chem, just finished the third test two days ago, dont fuckin ask
--moved from a house to an apartment on the day of my stats assignment and practical lab exam for chem oh and a day before my chem test
--one of my brothers spent three days of his already useless and senseless life in the hospital..Unfortunatly he isnt dieing, Im not that lucky people. Something is funky with his appendix, he spent those days flashing people his goods, flirting with the nurses,doctors,patients anything that walked really. He is an exhibitionist, Iwonder if it runs in the family, when i tell him 3aib cover your ass he says and I qoute'Why should I? I took seven hundred squats a day and heavey weights to get it like this might as well flaunt it'. Shameless him and the damn nurses who were at his beck and call..Ladies the guy is 17 and he has u wrapped around his pinkie..9ig shameless (I am bitter and dripping with envy:P)--oh and that very brother got an offer from a photographer who shoots for Flare and Seventeen to take pictures of him and refer him to an agent..Ewwww
--My finals are back to back
--My moods have been manic at best..
--Today I dropped off my dad who is going to the land of LandRovers and Jaguars and the Land of the two rivers.
--Iraq won the Asian Cup..Dave baby, pay up..In full;)--Younis,Nashat, hawar and anwar with my number and addressed I have sent my apartment key with the hours of operation..Im all yours:P
--I go study now..

WaitingRooM RuckUs Part 1

2007-07-26T22:54:00.000-04:00

We Canadians may have awsome health care in comparsion to the States ( the states suck over all) however we have killer waiting times.. And it is only natural in my opinon I voice my opinon..Loudly..

So here how it went down..

Place:Hospital
Situation:Grandma had a massive fever and swollen neck. She went from making me kababs to not being able to breathe..In four hours. Shes been strapped on the ambulance thingy for the past five hours.

At first i was patient, polite, courteous my usual sunny and sweet self but as the hours progressed and it had become dawn my disposition went from my usual dry sarcastic humourous self to blunt sarcasm laced with obnxiousness.
Marching to the reciption/nurses station

Lily: let me get this stright. This entire hospital doesnt have a single bed for this old lady?

Bitchy Nurse: Ma am I told you before we will get to her as soon as possible.

Lily: Oh ok Im soo going to depend on your answer, you told us we will be in in a few hours..That was at 12 30 am..Its not 4 25..See that **points at the wall clock** its been over four hours lady. your not manufacturing the bed are you?

Bitchy Nurse: I am not going to tell you again ma am , wait your turn and we will see to your grand ma when we get to her

Backing away from the reciption and raising my voice

Lily: :Lady, if I dont see a damn doctor in 15 minutes I am going to sue your rude lazy asses. My taxes pay for this place, and help me god if anything happens to my grandma.

Um at this point my father was flying accross the lobby to shut me up and he bruised my arm. If my mom didnt hold him back I swear he would have slapped me...I am not allowed to do anything '3aib' even when its warranted. Ilmuhim moving on..

Half an hour later, watching a cute young young intern mumble under his breath in between his three hundred senseless questions, I was hiding a yawn when;

Cute Doc directing to my grandma: You have a fever

Lily:*snorts* yea she does

Cute Doc: uh um your throat looks swollen too

Lily: no shit sherlock, she cant breathe

Dad:Lily shut up

Lily:**muttering**idoit

Cute Doc:*uncomfortable* I, uh well I'll start you on IV

Lily:* rolls her eyes* shes been on IV for the past six hours when she was waiting for you to tell her she has a fever and give her some asprin

Mom: What is wrong with her?

Cute Doc: uh I uh well she has a fever and a swollen throat and uh I uh

Lily: your kidding me right? Who the hell gave ur medical degree?!?!

Dad:inchabi ba3dan ma3ach inti fashalteena ya galeelat il idab

Lily: Shooofah hatha!! 7amar walla, Listen I want to see your bailey

Cute Doc: Bailey?

Lily: yea like the one from greys anatomy

Dad to my mom: inyanat bitich

Cute Doc: I uh I will see what i can do ..

Shameless

2007-07-24T19:51:00.000-04:00

.......
.....
...
..
.

I should grovel shouldnt I? Im soooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy.. I completely forgot about my blog and I had no reason too..I mean at first I had nothing to say (shocking I know) and then to add to my already hectic schedual I started my fuckin chem class that is like from 9-4 with intensive pre and post labs and I have essentially gone bonkers with it all...
I know I know I know..Not a good excuse I know and I apologize **big doe eyes**.

So Im gonna go blog hopping and say hi to everyone and hopefullly **fingers crossed** be more relible in terms of the blog..

In case ya'll are intersted I have been up to nothing but school, come to think of it I dont remeber the last time I slept a full 8 hours..Or 7..Or 6...Sad eh? As most of u know I hate chem..No wait..I ABHOR DETEST chem..terrible subject..I mean the subject isnt THAT bad but man the labs..What the Fuck!?!?!?! insane just insane...

My trip to kuwait is offically cancelled seeing that my lab prof simply cant function without me being his minon 24/7. May be December? Or early next summer? I soooo need a break people.. My brain cells are commiting sucide one after another its a sad sight to see.:P

Ok I go read over my notes, blog hop and then update tomorrow I gotta tell you people about my hospital stint..:P

100th random shyt;)

2007-06-08T17:33:00.000-04:00

--Eastern chamipions, yet we choked..hard... for the finals..Bas what the hell? GO SENS GO;)
--Murray should hire me assistant coach..I would get lord stanley back home..I always get what I want..

--Had a criminal behaviour midterm last tuesday..Notice that I didnt bitch about this one? cause I didnt know I had one:P Smart mashaallaa 3aliaah

--On the school note, Im taking stats(agian) and criminal behaviour first half of summer..Then continueing stats and starting chem(choke) next half..Alll fun and games..Wanaaasaa

--I have been consistent with the gym, made a few friends..Well not really friends..They grunt when they see me:P

--My prof in the lab thinks i have what it takes to change society..I had to correct him..Im gonna change the world;)

--people apperances are decieving..I SOUND smart true..But Im soo full of BS

--Its ridculously hot..Its days like this that I mutter about the damned hijab and wearing it..Layers..

--I should have been born a guy..Seriously..

--Im LOVING the perfume Dolce and Gabbana.. 20 more pounds and that baby is mine mine mine..

--I have been reminiscing..John Mayer Your body is a Wonderland..And NickelBack's Animals..I need to post the lyrics of the latter..**giggles**

--summer=built topless guys=very happy lily :D

--choclate pudding..mmmmm

--I need to pay my damn phone bill..I need to cancel it:P this is getting ridiculous really..

--I want to volunteer with the police..My dad is being diffcult..ugh..

--this is my 100th post..Arent I like totally cool?

--I have to set a date for my movie marathons...Soon..Sooon..

Inspiration

2007-06-03T13:21:00.000-04:00

He heard her infectious laughter before he caught a glimpse of her.
Involuntarily his bruised mouth allows small smile.
She moves accross the room, bids everyone goodmorin'.
He closes his eyes, allowing her kind voice to enclose him.
Writing his assgiment from the board he grimaces as the pain shoots up his arm.
Mistake. He can feel her coming towards him.
He crouchs lower in set. Puts on his tough guy attitude.
She stops infront of his desk.
He refuses to acknowledges her presence.
She simply hands back his lab report, fleetingly she lays her hand gently on his shoulder.
He stuffs his report in his bag another A wont help rep.
He makes a wiseass crack to his friends about teachers.
Her hand print was still burning on his shoulder.

Another day ends, yet agian he fought and has detention.
She is getting ready to leave, she looks up to see him looking at her.
He looks away.
He wills her to go away.
She moves towards him.
No, he doesnt her too, he cant talk about it.
She doesnt talk, only handing him a package.
Agian her hand on his shoulder, it was all he can do from breaking down.
He stops staring at the wall when she leaves the room.
Ripping open the package he finds filled out applications and reference letters.
Scholarships? A way out from under his fathers alcoholic rages?
Reluctant tears escape from his eyes.

Layer

2007-06-01T22:57:00.000-04:00

One at a time she unraveled. Slowly, surely, yet unpredictably.
One at a time. She fought with air relentlessly to no avil.
One at a time. She swam, with pure determination agianst the current.
She drowned, her breathing cut off, the beating of her heart stopped.
Only to be gasping for breath. Just one at a time.
Blinded, she forges ahead. Expectedly she stumbles.
One at a time. She falls, breaking bones.
Refusing to surrender to pain, she crawls.
One at time. She brusies egos.
Wet, without a breath, boneless she goes.
One at time. She goes.

Sheepish

2007-05-23T23:32:00.000-04:00

Ya Ya..Im alive..No I havent quit..No I didnt commit sucide..No I was not charged nor convicted with first degree murder..Yet... And ya I will be more consistent..I promise..No wait I dont..BUT I will try:P

Ilmuhim

I have been up too NOTHING... I mean nothing new..School, Home, Lab, Hospital..Same same same..

I have however, came to accept some things that are just simply hardwired in me and wont change no matter what I do...Appparently;
--I walk like a guy..even in heels **sighs** I cant help if Im built like one..
--When I run I look like I am planning a murder
--I am big boned with wide shoulders, muscled legs and massive arm mucsle..I will NEVER be petite **sighs**
--Im obessive compulsive..and a control freak to some extent
--I dont think I will ever understand my father
--My family is dysfunctional and clinically insane
--I hate the arab community and will always do
--I feel more relaxed and myself with 'white' people
--I have no pity for those who are nothing in life
--I give 110% I expect at least a 100%
--I am ambitious,driven,commited,neurotic,insane,talkative,obessive,a borderline sociopath,hard skinned,mean and rude.
--I love cookies,cake,icing,ice cream, choclate, half naked men sometimes women, and peanut m&m's.
--Society could kiss my fat ass for all I care about its opinon of me
--Yet I am NOT rebel, I follow rules..I love rules they give me structure. I am a conformist to the core. I appericate the law and I dont scoff at religion.
--I am boring as hell

Im going blog hopping now

Lightbulb

2007-05-02T22:44:00.000-04:00

Hi Hi everyone,

So I passed all my exams, I am still waiting for one though--fingers crossed. My marks are not as good as I would have liked..I aced some I beeed some..Bas allhumdullah I PASSED BUSSINESS mwuwhwhahahahahahahahahaha I fucked managerial accounting!!!! I feel accomplished, replinshed, in the zone and so totally excited to start school agian in a few weeks--yea I know Im sick..instead of diagnosing try to find a cure--in the mean time I will be working in a lab..Well not working..VOLUNTEERing thats right..Im giving up my time--i have nothing else to do, and I refuse to become a couch veggies--to mount slides,stain and play with mice and rats..This, ladies and gents will be my semi daily ritual..I will still be making rounds at the hospital-alot of work,draining..bas my god so rewarding.

I've done some personal adjustments in my life. Things I usually ignore and deem as unimportant when they are the most vital. So a little more disciplne. As soon as I can fix this portion of my life --it is the most important part to begin with--I think --inshalla--there is no where but up from here ;)

I need to fit the gym back into my schedual..Blubbbbbbbbbber**shudders** having ur body do the river dance when u walk--sooooo disgusting..:P

Summmmmmmmmmmmer..muwhahaha topless guys..God bless those two that run outside my lab every morning like clock work..Ran or shine..Dedication is a major turn on. Along with a mile long shoulders, ripped abs, sculpted backs and a killer smile..;)

Im luving Hot Action Cops..FEVER FOR THE FLAVOR woooooooop..lol

Tag/Update

2007-04-23T22:46:00.000-04:00

Ten weird thingy mijgies..

1) I not only drool and snore..Loudly, mind you when I sleep..I talk to myself..Apparently I plan my day, right down to how many miles Im running..Neurotic eh?

2) I like eating choclate with chips..One bite of this another of this..Its all about the sweet and salty sugar..

3)I have a shoulder and back fetish..*raises an eyebrow* I think those body parts are just so mm mmm good;P

4)I am my harshest critic and toughest driver...I NEVER compare myself to anyone but myself..Narcisstic you might think..true..But I have my own personal standards I dont give a damn about anyone else...

5)I am overprotective of my friends and my family..Throw water on them and Ill castrate you:P

6)I THRIVE on stress. I whin and bitch..but I love it..Sick I know..

7)Everymorning no matter what when I wash my face I look at myself in the mirror..I lean in..Then I roll my eyes..I still havent figured out why I do that..

8)As soon as a boy/man opens his mouth with me..Weither arguing or agreeing I reduce them to the status of every man/boy in my life currently..Little bro status:P

9)I love men perfumes..They not only turn me on bas I love wearing them..Current favorite Perry Elis Anniversy Edition..*fans herself* hot:P

10)I constantly carry on convos with myself..In public..These 'convos' have a tendency to escalate to full fledged arguements..Thats right ladies and gents, I argue with myself OUTLOUD in public...

I think everyone has beent tagged so far..But lets be honest people..We all have more then ten things that are strange about us..Lets give this another round shall we? I TAG EVERYONE..muwhahahahah say my name biooootch:P

Update..
--So finished the damn accounting.NEVER agian..I promise..Well..I will try to promise:P
--Finished Cognitive
--Two papers and one more lab exam to go..Inshalla Khair.

Note to self

2007-04-17T18:21:00.000-04:00

If the class has a fuckin outline dammit Lily just read it hun... Instead of thinking of yourself as Miss. I know it all and i have a stick firmly embedded in my fat ass. No, next time read the damn thing and make sure you follow it..You know why sugar? Cause that way you wont have a FAILING mark in the course genius. Ok? And when they say do the labS(notice the S smart ass?)per chapter. YOu do ALL the labs..Not one.Not just fucking one.. Ok?Ok? Alrite.?.Get your ass back to studying..

..thus far..

2007-04-11T23:30:00.000-04:00

SoOoOoO..
--Presented my presentation in AI(got an A ;P)
--Handed in 20 fuckin page paper on AI (I better get a damn A:P)
--Finished Stats (3hr05 minutes handed my exam in)-I was seriously hoping for a decent mark in this course..Cause people..Its not a hard course.. Now the final was not bad.. but damn long..I know ten marks are gone already on calculations and god knows how much for theroy..Allah Yester bas..
--Forensics--I did the lily thing..I walked out..I didnt finish the short questions and I decided I wanted to choclate..So I handed my exam and left..Dont..Dont Dont ask wwhy..This is why I go to therapy once a week..**sighs**

Coming up
--Managerial Accounting
--Cognitive
--Lab exam
--One paper on Psych as a science
--One paper on Behavioural Psych( both 6 pages)

Yea..You guys need to put up with my bitchin :P

off handed random note
**booty dance** LETS GO SENIEESSS LETS GOOO WOOOOOOT WOOOOT..My boys in red 1 down 3 more to go lets show those penguines how to waddle ;)

i..i...i...Mage..

2007-04-04T16:11:00.000-04:00

Corner oak and birch desk top unseen through layers of papers describing jury selection, animal ansethia, contribution statements, outlines for ratio,regression and difference sampling, connectionist approachs to memory, rough copies of paper describing AI and its societal evolutions and of course litter of crispy mini's, bounty bars, half eaten sandwichs, creme puff cookies, pudding containers and empty water bottles cover every surface in a ten meter radius.Left leg proped hip height on a spare chair ,right leg taps to Mika's Lolipop playing in the background..In the midst of it all..Highlighted text book lays open, one hand, with no viewable nails, frantically writting down highlighted passages while the other brings up whats remaining of a rice cake to a dried chapped mouth, that is in a half yawn, which accompanies blood shot raccoon eyes toped with messy hair pulled on top of head in a loose half assed bun.

Lets try to be civil..If your going kick my ass, I favor the left cheek..

Bibi-ness

2007-03-29T10:29:00.000-04:00

Over my grandma's(bibi) house

Eating

Bibi--finish the fish
Lily--*mouth full* mumph
Bibi--do you want more pickles baby?
Lily--*mouth still full, shakes head**
Bibi--why arent you eating the rice? Dont you like it?
Lily--*swallows painfully* la2 walla its perfect, bas its all carbs bibi it goes stright to my hips and tummy
Bibi--eee your right..you gained weight since I left* adds more rice and pours me juice**it doesnt matter your studying you need your energy

20 minutes later

Bibi--have a baklawa or a peice of cake
Lily--*sips coffee* no no sugar not good
Bibi--*gets up to get cookies* have one cookie come on one cookie
Lily--*takes a cookie, with resignation*

20 minutes later
Bibi--have an orange..
Lily--ba3dan ma3ach bibi!?!?!? Are you trying to get me fat? seriously?
Bibi--la22 bas your not eating

.....
Cleaning
Lily--*scrubbing the carpet**
Bibi--shawishawi your going to hurt your back
Lily--*caressess the carpet*
Bibi--you missed a spot..
Lily--*goes over the spot*

ten minutes later

Lily--*dusting out the curtains**
Bibi--tsk tsk I think we need to wash the the curtains..thier filthy
Lilly--**looks at the perfectly clean beige curtains** bibi they look new
Bibi--no no filthy lets wash them
Lily--*sighs* ok *goes towards the washing machine*
Bibi--No no mo bil machine by hand
Lily--*shoulders stooped* inshalla ok ok ok..

Dressing up

Bibi--you have too much make up on
Lily--bibi I have only eyeliner on with mascara
bibi--eee its too much it shows your eyes
Lily--thats the point bibi
Bibi--haram.. wipe it off
Lily--Inshalla ,hather**wipes off the eyeliner**
Bibi--sheefti shlon , ihla chethy
Lily--I look like a racoon with no sleep
Bibi--cute raccoon with no sleep*pinches my cheeks*
Lily--*opens the door to leave**
bibi--Lily?
Lily--*turns around**
Bibi-*grabs my face and kisses my cheeks* ya36eech il3afa, allah yaanj7ich dictorah inshalla wa yester 3alach

So worth the hassle ;)

Like..Omg..;)

2007-03-23T23:28:00.000-04:00

As you all know by now..I am a notorious lover of beauuutiful things..Obejct or person;) I love em..I, as you should all know by now, am NOT subtle person..Like my mom likes to say I call a donkey a donkey in its face..Not one of my most endearing qualities I must say..Im working on being more diplomatic..Ilmuhim I have had a few encounters that have made me look like either a)slut
b)Idoit
c)Ditz
c)Stalker
d)all the above:P

Scene one

--Neroscience lecture..
Lily**concentrating on drawing pipes on the lecture notes while the guest prof talks about gene replacements, doesnt look up when the chair on her left is swung and sat on**
Deep velvety voice(dont ask how I know its velvet..I just do:P) Intersting lecture eh?
Lily**looks up distractedly**mmphmm
Prof fumbles to stop his computer from going into hibernation
Lily**looks to her left while her mouth is in half a yawn and comes eye to eye to one of gods most magnificent creatures**
Deep voice**smiles wickedly(sounds so sexy eh?:P)** that bad?
Lily--*feels her face turning to odd shades of red** um huh? no its just that Im not a big fan of um genes I just um dont like em (stupid stupid stupid!!!)
Deep voice-oh yea? I like them..Actually thats what I study.
Lily--yea? cool you play around with genes all day.. sounds fun (in such a non convincing voice:P)
Deep voice-*smiles*
NOTE i tried really really hard not to look at him during the duration of the 20 remaining minutes..But daaaaaaaaaaammmn;)
Description-hispanic origin, second generation argentinan,baseball player(ugh) biochem grad student about 6'2 black hair brown eyes..unshaven..I didnt get his social insurance number..pity;)

Scence Two
--Ooogling the choclate brownies while waiting in line in Second Cup
Just as I was ordering a brownie and a slice of cheese cake to accompany my carmel carretto the guy infront of me turns around, leans over to grab a pack of choclate covered espresso beans to add to his order when I noticed his eyes.. I kid you not people..They were purple..With green and grey and they were HUUGE mashalla and shiny and stuff..I was taken aback. Trying to regain my composure I walk up the counter to wait for my order when he turns around AGIAN and SMILES..The NERVE?!!! Ilmuhim so I play it cool and smile back..I tried..TRIED to hold myself back..The tempatation was just too much..So I catch his eye agian..
Lily--you have gorgous eyes..Are they real?
Guy with purple eyes**laughs** yea wanna touch?
.........

Thats just the tip of the ice berg..I can write a book on my lack of decorm and sophistication..9ij ma ista7ee:P

Take One

2007-03-21T21:29:00.000-04:00

---I started running outside...Gorgous skin slashing numbing canadain weather**pumps her fist in the air**YeA BaBY YEA!!! Its like imagine shooting up bas like ten times more intesified.. ;)

---Exams on the way..Someone outline me a sucide plan..Something quick but dramatic..I wanna go out with a boooom..

---My laptop refuses to play audio..Is it a sign to stop watching shit online???

---I luuuv Craig Ferguson..Although he has something agianst Canadains..He has no morals so yea what do you expect?

---I was groped by a hot schezophernic three weeks ago ;) Im still not sure how I feel about that..:P

---I was informed by my prof that this is my most laid back year..And that the next two years are going to be a BITCH..I say "Doc, with all due you respect, show me the fuckin door"

---My sister wants to "paint" her hair..Blonde..My sister wants to be a blonde..Shes 7!!! I didnt know I had hair till I was like 15...God..Kids..Scary little runts..

---I provoke people....I dont know mabye theres a sign on my head that says "Come pick a fight with me" and "No I dont get the theroy explain it"

---I may do aerospace eng., if they accept me agian:P, when Im done with this crap..If I dont get into grad school..Yassir khair..

--Shakira and Beyounce..Beautiful Liar..Song makes no sense..Someone please explain it to me..who is sleeping with who exactly?

---I dont get why people ask me to go to clubs or bars with them..HIJABI, people at a club or bar doesnt mesh well..Sheeesh

---I need to take the stick thats stuck up my ass out soon..Im getting on my own nerves..

---April 23 people..23 23 23 23 then Im DONE..For like two weeks:P

I go do my paper now**sighs**

Yummmies Part 1

2007-03-14T21:04:00.000-04:00

**drools** hala walla hallaa..Willlllly ..I adooore him..

Hun you say All aboard..And Ill say Aye Aye Capn ;)

He cusses,he drinks,he smokes he doesnt give a damn...Makes him that much more sexier.. ;)

I would switched sides in a heart beat for her:P

**hugs**I wannnnnaaa takkkeee u home and feed you hot choclate and marshmelloooos

**deep breath**My mother now understands why I cant possible marry an arab..Look at him..Perfect..Art I tell ya..Subhanalla

He makes me smile..Everything about him makes me happy happy oh o damn happy..He is THE man among the boys..

Wenty wenty where art thou? Ivy league this boy..mmm mmm mmmm Can i get me some?

So this is what I do in business class..Productive eh?;P No wonder the lousy marks:p If I had profs or TA's who look half as good I would get A's I know it;)

Forensics

2007-03-10T23:36:00.000-05:00

Not bad..A few curve balls..Bas it was over all acceptable..Should damn well be..I havent slept in 72 hours...No thats a lie..72 hrs-1.5 so yea..I go sleepy since i cant do simple math..I usually cant do math period..so that didnt test the degree of my llack of soberity..Ilmuuuhim me go nite nite for about 9 hours or mabye 6..I hate wasteing time..Sleeping is soo useless eh?